Embracing self-awareness: Understanding repression & suppression

Have you ever noticed how certain thoughts or feelings just seem to disappear from your mind, like they’ve been tucked away in a hidden corner? Or maybe you’ve caught yourself pushing an uncomfortable emotion aside, telling yourself you’ll deal with it later?

These are natural defence mechanisms called repression and suppression. The human brain has lots of cool defence and coping mechanisms, of which these are just two. 

Repression: The unseen shield

Repression is like an automatic reflex your mind uses to protect you from pain. Without you even realising it, your brain blocks out unpleasant emotions, memories, or thoughts, keeping them out of your conscious awareness. This is what Sigmund Freud, the famous psychologist, described as a way to minimise feelings of guilt and anxiety. It’s like your mind is sweeping those uncomfortable feelings under the rug before you even know they’re there.

In some cases, repression can actually help by reducing anxiety in the moment. It’s a way of coping when things get too overwhelming. But the tricky part is that these buried emotions don’t just go away—they can show up later as anxiety, stress, or even physical symptoms like headaches or fatigue. Imagine trying to hold a beach ball underwater; it takes a lot of effort, and eventually, it’s going to pop up.

How repression can impact us

Let’s say you have a phobia of snakes, but you can’t remember ever having a bad experience with one. It’s possible that a repressed memory is at play, influencing your behaviour without you being fully aware of why. Or consider someone who faced trauma as a child but doesn’t remember the events—this could affect their relationships and emotional well-being in ways they might not understand.

Suppression: The conscious pause

Unlike repression, suppression is something we do deliberately. It’s when we decide to put a pin in our feelings, choosing to deal with them later when we’re ready. This can be incredibly helpful in navigating daily life. For instance, if a family member keeps asking you uncomfortable questions about your future, you might choose to suppress your irritation in the moment to keep the peace. Later, when you’re in a safe space, you can let those feelings out, perhaps by venting to a friend.

The balance of suppression

Suppression can be a healthy way to manage emotions, but like anything, balance is key. If you’re always pushing your feelings aside, you might forget to come back to them, and over time, this can lead to stress, anxiety, or even depression. It’s important to make space for your emotions and to give yourself permission to feel them fully when the time is right.

When we suppress our feelings too often, we might start to feel like we’re not being true to ourselves. This can lead to resentment or self-judgment. It’s essential to recognise that all emotions are valid and that they don’t need to be hidden away to make others comfortable. Sometimes, being vulnerable and allowing ourselves to be fully seen and heard is the most empowering thing we can do.

Embracing self-awareness

Both repression and suppression play roles in how we cope with life’s challenges, by understanding these mechanisms, we can start to notice when we’re pushing something away and gently invite ourselves to explore those feelings instead.

Becoming aware of your go-to responses to triggers, traumas and life in general is like gold dust. When you can understand how we deal with emotions, and get to know how it feels in our bodies, you are empowered with that knowledge. 

Self-discovery is a journey, and raising our awareness of how we deal with emotions is a powerful step toward greater well-being. By acknowledging and processing our emotions—whether in the moment or later on—we create space for healing and growth.

Imagine if you kept beating yourself up for always being so “snappy” and overwhelmed, whilst trying a tonne of stuff to get it to “go away” and whilst some of it eases, still having that deep underlying niggle of frustration under your skin about the world. 

To get fully in tune with what that sensation is really about for you, if it’s a repressed or suppressed emotion lurking that is ready to be fully seen, heard, held and validated, is so empowering. Why? Because the emotion finally gets to move out and to alchemise. You get to learn a more comfortable, easy, and aligned way of being. Pure magic.

Remember, it’s okay to feel, and it’s okay to take your time with those feelings. Your emotions are a part of who you are, and embracing them is a beautiful way to nurture your inner self.