Changing gear in challenging times
A well-known Chinese curse and/or blessing is, "may you live in interesting times" and is most applicable in our COVID-19 world that we live in and the lock-down/restrictions that we are facing.
So how are you coping with this “new reality” that you are facing? And how have you been able to change gear as we face an extended lock-down (a world that is changed forever)?
How do we deal with change?
The Kubler-Ross model of dealing with change suggests that we move through the following stages:
Shock > Denial > Anger > Depression > Acceptance > Integration
As per this model, we personally respond to change through these various stages, yet each person deals with change differently based on their personal resilience (and belief systems).
Perhaps now as we are starting to accept the “new world” that we are living in, we perhaps need to start integrating this change in our lives, or at the very least considering how we want to use this as an opportunity to improve our lives.
I personally love learning and often view change as an opportunity to grow and learn yet when my role changed radically one year (it felt like I was starting a new job and had to relearn everything that I was doing), I know I was slow to change. Like I was in coping with the loss of my mother in 2009. With the support of my coaches, I learnt that I change at my own pace, based on my own resilience and that the way that I cope with change differs vastly to the way others deal with it.
Allowing ourselves time to work through the change, getting support from coaches, mentors and loved ones and self-nurturing are often the ways that we manage change and are able to “bounce back”, building our resilience and growing through the change. And a major part of that is dealing with loss, acknowledging it and working through it.
There was an interesting movie created by Austin Vickers called 'People Vs The State Of Illusion' that highlighted that we have the choice of creating our own reality and given that we all do well when we have the right environment there is a fundamental question we need to consider:
What vision do we hold for our lives, now that we have had time out through this lockdown to re-assess our lifestyle, the way that we live and the path that we are on?
One of the greatest things that coaches, therapists and trainers can do for their client is to help that person to shift from effect back to cause. So often we get stuck or caught up in reacting to what is going on in our lives that we rarely pause to see where we can be causal and in essence get results - especially the ones that we are seeking in our lives. Two key things stand out for me; one is that we need to be really clear on what it is that we do want, and two, that we choose the path that we envision, rather than remain unconsciously following the crowd.
In a car or bike, we change down gears when going uphill for more power and change up gears when we want to go faster on the downhills, or on the flat. The whole world came to an abrupt stop when COVID-19 lockdowns started internationally and we had no option but to change gear, with many of us working from home or remotely. Now that we’ve changed gear, what is the next step for you? Do you change up a gear and start moving closer to your vision for your life, or do you stay in the same gear staying as you are, or do you change down a gear to gain more power, re-invent and take onboard the pathway that most serves you?
Life coaching helps us to change that gear, getting clear about what we do want, and it helps us to build our resilience, aligning to the vision that we hold for our lives. My invite is to utilise the opportunity that we have now towards choosing wisely what it is that your heart longs for.