Being emotionally intelligent
Just a few lines here on the above, namely:
1) What it is to be emotionally intelligent.
2) What it enables us to do.
3) What you can do today to be emotionally intelligent (if you’re up for it).
So firstly, if we want to be emotionally intelligent, we will value ourselves and others, and be able to identify and understand why we:
- feel and
the way we do – and be able to manage/change any element as appropriate to meet our *emotional needs – thereby allowing us to present the best version of ourselves.
In this way, we can then understand, cooperate and empathise with others, and help them to present the best version of themselves.
Being emotionally intelligent enables us for example to build relationships; to be self-motivated; to persist in the face of frustration; to regulate our moods and prevent distress clouding our ability to think; to control our impulses and delay gratification; encourage hopefulness; to deal well with adversity, negative events, conflict; to persuade and influence others to our mutual benefit and deal with difficult people.
Emotional intelligence has been described as a ‘meta-ability’, determining how well we can use other skills, including intellect.
(There are of course lots of ways we can sabotage thinking, feeling and behaving in emotionally intelligent ways, I will go into those another time – anxiety, stress, limiting beliefs etc – and look at how we might start to combat them).
What you can do today to be EI:
- Be warm, open, friendly, accepting and respectful to yourself.
- Be warm, open, friendly, accepting and respectful to others.
This is a good way to present the best version of yourself and help others to do so for themselves.
*E.g. emotional connection to ourselves and others; control; meaning and purpose in life; attention; achievement; sense of community and status; security; privacy.
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About Marc Kirby
Marc has been involved in training, coaching and developing people for over 30 years. His interest is in supporting individuals to make the most of themselves; to maximise their potential; to perform to their best and to live their lives to the full. He runs Stress Management Plus, and Developing Connections, in Reading, Berkshire.