How to set goals that last

Every January, Monday, start of a new week and milestone, millions of people set ambitious goals with the hope that this will be the year everything changes. 

Yet for many, motivation fades, old habits return, and those carefully crafted aims quietly disappear. The problem is often not a lack of discipline or commitment. Instead, it may be that the goals themselves are not truly aligned with who we are and what we genuinely want.

A new year is upon us, and I am hoping last year brought you all you signed up for when setting your new year's resolutions last year. Did you easily and effortlessly achieve all you set out to do, and subsequently, are last year's wishes now a reality?

Or on the flip side, are you one of the many hopefuls who, at the beginning of January, decide on new year goals, but by mid January, secret behaviours of tucking back into jam doughnuts are once more alive and that familiar new car or dream home goal has disappeared because the first month’s savings found itself purchasing a must have outfit for your friend's party next week?

Or even more drastic, you don’t even bother with milestone resolutions or goals any more due to habitual let-downs, and you believe wholeheartedly that nothing you want ever shows up, so what's the point in setting yourself up for a fail?

A month-or-so into your new planned ritual, it’s a factual, hard-hitting downward spiral. We all know that disappointment and frustrated feeling when beliefs around our own future and capabilities are re-enforced negatively and of course it sucks!

Right on cue, unhealthy inner self-talk shows up to express its opinion, which ignites that old familiar victim mentality, giving any self-accountability that had managed to survive, a ticket to ride off into the night. Before you can think, sadness, frustration, stress, counter-productivity, blocked thinking and maybe even anger can take over and by this time, the downward spiral has progressed into the sub-conscious depths where limiting beliefs activate - lack of motivation and low confidence take over and your knickers are in a right old twist and before you know it, it's even worse... It’s a year later, and nothing has changed except you're a year older! 

The cycle of self-sabotage when working toward goals

Phew, that was exhausting just writing it, let alone living it!

So, human resilience allows us to brush ourselves down and take the next step, which of course is goal-setting strategies from books or online!

As invaluable as they can be, the magic glue still hasn’t stuck, so you end up again at the same place, meeting bigger self-sabotage behaviours, asking “what is wrong with me?” and pulling what's left of your hair out!

Sound too familiar? Well, good news!

The missing glue for your goals

Take a healthy breath in and stress less because I have discovered the missing glue…

I am sure you have heard upon your travels, "what you can create in your reality begins with focus and acting on what you want"?

Well, never a truer word spoken, but for me, a powerful part has been overlooked when focusing on what is wanted, and it is the simple question of: 

I have worked with a vast number of clients who come to me for both therapy and coaching, confused as to why they are not successful or why they never seem to have a lucky break like Jim next door.

The problem with giving yourself goals that aren't really yours

Time and time again it becomes apparent that what people think they want, isn’t actually what they want – it turns out to be an expectation of what they think they should have or should be working towards, which is stress in itself and if it's not authentic and if you refuse to let it go, you're in for a really bumpy ride to say the least, with repercussions which at best can become a life lesson of 'here’s how not to do it’ !

I believe if you have found yourself here reading my knowledge, then it is highly likely that you want to be the best version of you, because that is what my skills offer and what I achieve when working with clients. I am guessing you have personal and career goals, including a plan to hit the big time or be at the top of your game and most importantly, happy with personal success?

My advice on your goal-setting strategy

Well, to benefit your stress levels and time management, I have discovered and offer you my goal-setting strategy that works!

In a nutshell,

1. if your goals are not in alignment with your authentic self, then they will not develop and, importantly, sustain.  

In other words, if your goals are based on what you've heard other people say they want, or what you think you should want, you are never going to want them for your own independent reason. That makes motivation, perseverance and determination all the more harder to find. 

I can work with you to show you how to break out of the repetitive cycle of murky dead ends and grab what it is you truly and honestly do want, effortlessly!

Working with yourself

Experiencing first hand this light bulb insight and from the techniques I regularly practice in therapy and through coaching clients, I can teach you how to truly listen to your gut, use your own intuition armed with a strong self-belief.

You'll be able to healthily unleash a sense of emotional freedom and natural flow which can clear your path for honest clarity and vision into why you want your goals and importantly if your goal is a towards or an away from goal – this is an NLP technique that all credible practitioners can offer, giving insightful knowledge and understanding into personal hidden goal drivers for effortless life transition.

So, if you too want continuous energy, high motivation and buzzing excitement to supercharge your authentic goals with continued progress, full health and happiness, get ready to ignite from the small pond into your fabulous and shiny large pool, which of course is where your magic will begin.