How to stop worrying what others think

Caring what other people think is natural. Other people's opinions can matter to us, particularly when they come from people we value or respect. The difficulty can come when caring turns into worrying.

When you care what others think, you can take on board and respect their opinion without letting it determine your decision or your self-worth.

Whereas when you're worrying about what others think, you may start allowing their judgement to influence what you think about yourself.

If you find yourself regularly worrying about what others think, it can make decisions and taking action feel much more difficult. You may become stuck in a rut and find it harder to trust yourself to make decisions or take actions.

The more stuck you become, the more you may overthink others' opinions and disregard your own.

With some clients, this has led to them ignoring their wants and needs and instead becoming totally focused on getting approval from others. Over time, this can affect confidence and make it harder to trust your own judgement.

Fortunately, it is possible to reduce your worrying and care more about your own needs, beliefs and desires.

Two ways to worry less about what others think

1. Notice when you're seeking approval

Start becoming aware of decisions you make based primarily on someone else's approval. Ask yourself:

• Why am I making this choice?
• What do I actually think or want?
• Would I make the same decision if I wasn't worried about their reaction?

Challenging yourself in this way can help you notice when someone else's opinion is having more influence than you'd like.

2. Develop self-approval

Record the achievements you make, the things you’re proud of and your positive strengths. Congratulate yourself when you show the confidence to keep to your beliefs.

Notice the moments when you trust your own judgement or stay true to something that's important to you.

Listen to others without losing sight of yourself

Caring about other people's opinions doesn't mean you lack confidence, and the aim isn't to stop listening to others altogether. It's about recognising when someone else's opinion is useful and when your need for their approval is beginning to outweigh your own judgement.

The next time you find yourself wondering, “What will they think?”, try adding another question: “What do I think?”