What to do when your goal isn’t going to plan

What are you trying to achieve? And why is it not happening? Do you feel excited about the prospect of achieving this thing, and yet it feels somehow out of your grasp because your attempts to get it so far haven't worked?

So often in life you try, and you try, but how often do you actually look at what you are doing and the results that all that effort is producing?

1. Separate what you can control from what you can't

With most goals we try to achieve, there are factors within our control and factors that are out of our control. When you are looking for a particular outcome, it is useful to look at these two sets of factors and distinguish between them, as this allows you to see where your efforts are best placed.

It can be a useful exercise to draw up a list of these different factors, as it will give you a clearer picture of the situation. Be sure that the factors you perceive as being out of your control really are.

This can help you decide what may need to be accepted or worked around, and where your effort is more likely to be useful.

2. Review what's working and what isn't

When you have worked out what is within your control, look at the strategies that you have been using to achieve your aims.

What is useful and what has produced no tangible results? Keep doing what is working, but look at what is not working. Is it the approach you are taking, or is it just not a very useful way to achieve your goal? Does this approach need refinement or should it be abandoned altogether?

Also, what do you keep meaning to do but never actually get round to doing?

Ask yourself why you keep putting it off. Is the step still necessary? Does it need breaking down, changing or approaching differently? Or is it something you now need to decide whether you're willing to do?

It could be that the step you're procrastinating about is an important part of moving forward.

3. Explore different approaches

It is only when you allow yourself the time to consider what is not working that you can start to conceive what could work instead. You need to think creatively about other ideas and approaches that might help you to achieve what you want.

Here are some questions and ideas to help you find alternative ways to approach your goal:

• What is missing from the plan that could make a difference?
• Step outside of your situation and look at it from a different perspective. If someone else was in your shoes, what would you suggest?
• What might you be avoiding?
• Reconnect with why you wanted the goal in the first place. Does it still matter to you in the same way? What does this desire inspire you to want to do?
• Think about who can help you. This can be really broad in scope and not directly linked to the goal itself. Often we think we have to do everything on our own, but have a think about all the people and resources that could help you with what you are trying to achieve.

Reviewing your approach may also show you that the original goal needs to change. Adjusting or letting go of a goal that no longer fits isn't necessarily failure.

4. Take action, then give yourself some space

Finally, once you have some new ideas about how to achieve your goal, give them a go.

Once you've decided what to try next, give yourself permission to stop analysing the goal constantly. Take the action you have decided upon, but allow yourself the space to think about and do other things.

Sometimes stepping away for a while can give you new insights and ideas when you return to your original goal.