We can't be positive all the time

Life coaching is often about helping people move forward with their lives. How to set goals and move towards achieving them. This is a positive course of action and often requires a positive mindset. But we, as human beings, simply cannot feel positive in every given moment.

That’s just not realistic

Most of us will experience painful and upsetting events during our lives. We may face bereavement, illness, relationship difficulties, financial pressure or prolonged stress. Some people will also experience mental health conditions such as depression or anxiety and may feel ashamed or guilty about struggling.

The pressure to remain positive

One of the predominant messages in our society is to be positive, keep that chin up, don’t get down. Yes, life has its struggles, but rise above it all.

Is that realistic or even fair to ask ourselves to do that?

Life happens to all of us - things that make us sad, terrible illnesses that we must battle, losing loved ones. How, in all of that, are we meant to remain positive? I’ve learned that when we pretend things are one way (everything is perfect) but it's definitely not, we can make ourselves very ill. Things will and do catch up to us all.

Honour what you are feeling

My message today is to honour what you are feeling.

Care for yourself, and if you are going through a tough time, then ask for help. Let your friends and family know. Don’t let anything stop you from asking for help. Find a life coach or therapist if you need more help. But please don’t pretend that everything is OK when it's not.

People will believe what you want them to believe because they aren’t inside our heads. We will all get down at different times in our lives.

Sometimes we recover quickly and move forward on our own, but other times we need the help and love of others to get us through. Reach out and ask for help.