How to move forward when change feels scary

Have a great idea? Fantastic project? Ready to make that career change? If you are feeling excited and energised by all the possibilities that change can bring, then start looking at the actions you need to take to make the change.

When you get to the cusp of change, and you are standing on your safe and familiar territory looking out to the beautiful horizon, it looks great from afar. You start your wishful thinking, but as you move closer towards the unfamiliar ground, you start thinking of the risks: “What if something scary appears and I don’t know how to handle it?”

The inner critic suddenly turns up the volume. Your doubts and fears are heightened:

• “I don’t feel good enough”
• “What if it goes wrong?”
• “What would people say? I’m turning back.”

So back you go, and it feels safe again; your anxiety and fears drop to a manageable level, and yet, there it is, that unsettled feeling of aspiring for more, but the fear keeps you safe - or stuck.

Sometimes it is worth challenging your perception of safety. Our body’s responses often give us signs when it is ready for a change, yet the mental activity gives us warning messages. Reality check whether making a change is a perceived fear, based on your projections of what might be the consequences, or genuine fear that a change may be hazardous to your health. Using pros and cons, visualising the end goal and coaching for a different perspective may help to give clarity on the situation.

If you have a tendency to think of the worst-case scenario in your head, rather than replaying the movie in a loop, play out that movie in your mind and ask yourself: “If I really end up in this situation, how will I cope? What will I do? Could I trust myself that it will be all right?”

Sometimes challenges in life can present themselves as opportunities for learning and growth. They may help us understand ourselves better, develop resilience and recognise what we want to do differently in the future.

The way we attach ourselves to certain situations in life can affect our state and the choices we make in the future. By learning to channel life’s energy in a way that is productive, enjoyable and in alignment with your values, you may find yourself energised and enthused.

Put your hand on your heart and have gratitude by saying thank you to your inner critic. It usually rides along with you as it is determined to keep you safe. Thank the critic for the advice and listen deeply inside yourself to decide whether the advice is one you want to take in, or whether there is something more your inner knowing is telling you. Having a daily meditation practice can help you to listen to your inner knowing further and can help to develop your intuition so you can begin to trust yourself.

Familiarity has got you this far. It is doing things differently that will take you elsewhere.