3 thinking patterns that could be adding to your stress

Our thoughts, feelings, physical responses and behaviours can influence one another. Becoming more aware of your thoughts and how they affect you can be one useful way of managing stress. Most people associate stress with the physical discomfort of headaches and chest pain, but may not realise how our thoughts and interpretations of situations can also influence how we feel. While stress can have many external causes, the way we interpret a situation can sometimes influence how stressful it feels.

Cognitive approaches look at how certain patterns of thinking can sometimes intensify difficult emotions or stress.

A thinking error, sometimes referred to as a cognitive distortion, is a pattern of thinking that may lead us to interpret situations in ways that aren't always accurate or helpful.

Here are some of the most commonly occurring thinking errors:

All-or-nothing thinking

‘All-or-nothing thinking’ or black-and-white thinking is considered to be a common thinking pattern. It is wise to remind yourself that many situations aren't completely black and white and start introducing the shade of grey. It is, for example, not possible to be a complete failure. You might have failed at a certain task, but it does not mean you are a failure.

How can you recognise if you are an ‘all or nothing’ thinker? Words such as ‘always’ and ‘never’ can sometimes be clues that you're thinking in all-or-nothing terms.

If you hear yourself say something like ‘I always miss my deadline’ or ‘I will never be successful’, then think again!

One way to introduce a more balanced and constructive way of thinking is to question those absolutes. For example:

‘I've missed this deadline, but that doesn't mean I always will.’

‘This didn't go as I'd hoped, but it doesn't mean I'm a failure.’

Mind reading

One of the other most common errors is mind reading. We all do it. We make assumptions about people and situations without being aware of all the facts. Somehow, we get ourselves into a state by starting to assume people are focusing on our faults, mistakes, and shortcomings.

We can sometimes assume that we know what another person thinks about us without having enough evidence to support that conclusion.

So, if you notice yourself mind reading, ask:

• What evidence do I actually have that this person thinks this about me?
• Is there another possible explanation?

Focusing on the negative

Focusing on the negative aspects of life can also affect how we experience a situation. It might be a cliché, but there can sometimes be a silver lining. When our attention becomes dominated by what's going wrong, it can become harder to notice what is also going well or what choices remain available to us.

This doesn't mean ignoring genuine difficulties or forcing yourself to be positive. It means trying to see the fuller picture.

OK, so you might have been given lemons, but perhaps there are still choices about what you do with them.

It is time to take account of what is also going well in your life, the people or things you value and the qualities you recognise in yourself.

I encourage you to get a piece of paper right now and start writing down what comes to mind. The aim isn't to pretend the difficult things aren't there, but to make sure they aren't the only things receiving your attention.