On letting go...

For many of us, the seasonal break provides not only a much-needed opportunity for rest and a break from our everyday routines but also an opportunity for reflection, as we look to reset our lives in preparation for the year ahead.

As you take stock of where you are in your life and career and think about the changes you'd like to make, I'd like to invite you to consider what you might need to let go of to help you realise your vision.

From assumptions and beliefs about who you are, what you're capable of, what you should be doing with your life, or how you should be living it, to relationships and physical possessions – I strongly suspect that most of us are holding onto things through habit, conditioned ways of thinking or behaving, or because we see them as a source of security. However, holding onto these things may not be helping us move forward or bring about the changes we'd like to see.

Letting go of things that no longer serve us is a key part of the change process. This starts with acknowledging what is, so we can begin to identify what we may need to release.

Here are just a few examples of things we may need to let go of in relation to our work:

• The need to stay silent rather than acknowledge our needs, particularly where these are perceived as carrying a sense of weakness or vulnerability (for example, asking for help or admitting we're struggling with part of our role).
• The need to compare ourselves – our job title, pay, career progression or status – to others as a measure of self-worth.
• Unrealistic expectations we've either created for ourselves or allowed others to impose on us about what we "should" have achieved by this stage in our career.
• The need to control particular situations or people at work.
• The need to work excessive hours at the expense of our work-life balance, health and wellbeing.
• The expectation that we should always appear to be coping and never admit that challenges outside of work may be affecting how we feel at work.
• The need to rely on unhelpful behaviours or coping strategies to deal with work-related stress.
• An outdated career identity or value system we've been holding onto, or beliefs about what we're capable of and what we "should" be doing at this point in our working lives.
• The belief that, because of our circumstances, we're stuck in work we no longer enjoy and that changing careers, particularly later in life, is impossible.

Whilst it may be relatively easy to identify and act on quick-win behavioural or habit changes, recognising and releasing deeply held beliefs and assumptions that may have been with us for many years is often much more challenging. We first need to identify what is no longer serving us, accept that change is needed, and then begin moving forward.

Whilst old, familiar ways of being may no longer be helpful, it can be tempting to cling to them because they feel comfortable and safe. However, this can inhibit change. Our worlds become smaller; we stick with what we know and, in doing so, become more limited in our thinking, less open to growth, more fearful of change and less willing to let go of the things that are no longer serving us.

Often, letting go can be challenging, particularly when it involves something significant such as your career identity. It can create a sense of loss or expose vulnerabilities that give rise to emotions such as shame, grief, guilt, resentment or anger. This is where working with a coach or another trusted professional can provide valuable support.

Whilst most people associate letting go with endings, it can also create the space needed for new beginnings. Letting go of something we've been holding onto can leave us feeling freer, lighter and more open to growth, allowing new opportunities, perspectives and experiences to enter our lives.

Letting go isn't always easy, but it can create the space needed for positive change. Sometimes the biggest step forward begins with deciding what no longer belongs in your life or career.