Navigating loneliness in your late 20s

Raise your hand if you’ve ever scrolled through social media and wondered, “Am I doing this whole life thing wrong?” Yeah, me too. Your 20s are hyped up to be the decade of freedom, adventure, and “finding yourself.” But sometimes, it feels more like wandering around lost with no map while everyone else seems to have GPS coordinates.

Instead of feeling like the main character, you might find yourself stuck in a loop of crippling self-doubt and low self-esteem. You thought this would be over after the magical & mysterious age of 25 but nope, it’s very much still a thing. Your friends might be getting married, buying houses, or starting careers that sound suspiciously stable, while you’re still Googling how to fold a fitted sheet. And that’s okay—this isn’t a competition.

Here’s the deal: if you’re feeling lonely, disconnected, or unsure about what you want, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human. And it also means there’s a huge opportunity right now to figure out what actually makes you happy—no filter, no “shoulds.” Let’s break it down.

First: The wheel of life

Think of your life as a pie chart. It’s divided into slices like relationships, career, health, personal growth, finances, and fun. If one slice feels off, it can throw the whole thing out of balance — and that might be why you’re feeling out of sorts.

Here’s how to check: rate your satisfaction in each area on a scale from 1 to 10. Are your friendships meaningful? Are you doing things that light you up? Is money stress eating your brain? Don’t worry if it’s messy — nobody’s pie is perfect. The goal isn’t to max out every category but to figure out which ones could use a little extra love.

Pro tip: If this feels overwhelming, try working with a life coach who can help you sort through it without spiralling into a life crisis Reddit rabbit hole at 2:00am. 

Next: Some hard (but helpful) truths

1. What do you really want?

Do you want a romantic partner, or are you craving connection in general? It's hard to know in today's day and age, but there is a difference. Loneliness is normal — it’s a human thing, not a you thing. But we sometimes put all our connection eggs in the romance basket, forgetting that platonic relationships can be just as fulfilling.

So, here’s an idea: If you want a dating detox, do it. If you’re finding the apps deflating but you feel pressure to be on them because it’s what's expected of you when you’re single, stick a middle finger up to them for a few months and just see how it goes. What’s the worst that could happen? And in the meantime dive into deep convos with friends, or make new ones. Trust me, there’s magic in rediscovering your tribe — or building one from scratch.

2. Bored or lonely?

Sometimes, loneliness feels louder when life gets monotonous. Ask yourself: Would switching up my routine make me feel more alive? Push yourself out of your comfort zone and become that person who doesn't fear looking like an idiot and ruthlessly pursues new, whacky interests.

3. Life is a playground — so play

Your 20s are the perfect time to experiment. Try stuff. Fail. Laugh about it later. Pick up a new hobby, join a random class, or swipe right on that book club you keep avoiding because this is 'too grandma'. The point isn’t to “get it right”—it’s to figure out what makes you feel excited to wake up.

3. Reconnect with people (even if they’re wifed up now)

Okay, maybe your friends aren’t lame — they’re just in a different season. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find common ground. Be honest about how you’re feeling. Suggest a fun night out or plan something that breaks up the usual routine. Chances are, they’re craving connection too but are too busy adulting to say it.

4. When in doubt, call a life coach

Sometimes, figuring things out on your own just isn’t enough — and that’s okay. This is where working with a life coach can be a game-changer. A life coach helps you cut through the noise and focus on what truly matters to you. They’ll guide you in identifying what’s holding you back, setting meaningful goals, and building a clear plan to move forward.

Think of them as your accountability partner and cheerleader rolled into one. They’ll help you break free from old patterns, overcome self-doubt, and stay on track—even when life feels overwhelming or the couch and Netflix are calling your name.

You’re not alone, and you’re not stuck

Loneliness in your 20s doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re in a transition, figuring out what makes you happy — not what looks good on socials. Embrace the uncertainty, try new things, and remember: this phase is just the start of your story. Something beautiful is coming — you’ve got this.