How to date in 2025

Look, let’s get straight to it. We’re in a dating crisis and need to turn this around. Dating is hard. It’s no longer like your grandparents' era, where grandad went up to grandma in a penny shop, they met three times, got married and are still together 70 years later. Nowadays we’re all out here trawling an app for a 6”5 blue eyes person in finance while trying to be a black cat... seriously. What’s going on?

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Why we are in this current dating climate

It seems as though everyone is on a “dating break” due to dating app burnout. It’s a real thing. So let’s talk about what has happened. 

There was a huge spike in dating app usage between 2020-2021 because people could not socialise in real life. One dating app recorded a huge 3 billion swipes in just one single day. Post 2021 dating apps remained ingrained in people's habits because of the convenience of being able to swipe and the dopamine hit received from online connections similar to social media. However, in 2024 people reported feeling disheartened. A survey reported by the New York Post in June 2024 found that 80% of Americans feel "burnt out" with dating apps, citing repetitive experiences and lack of meaningful connections as primary concerns. 

When dating apps start to cause a negative experience it can feel extremely confusing how to proceed. 


So, now what? 

Alright, let’s get real—I’m not about to hit you with the overplayed "just focus on yourself" advice, nor am I here to demand you go full detox and delete every dating app like it’s some digital ex. There’s a time and place for those apps, and they do have their perks. But what I am going to do is share some advice that’s made the whole dating circus way less stressful for me—and might just stop you from throwing in the towel, buying a fleet of cats, and founding the “Single Forever Cat Enthusiasts Society.” Trust me, there’s a better way forward!

1. Attract, don’t force

This can be a tricky concept to grasp, especially with so much toxic advice out there, so let me simplify it for you. You’re looking for the Tom Holland to your Zendaya—the kind of pure, infectious, and mutual love that feels effortless because it’s rooted in genuine connection. If you’re not familiar with them, take 10 seconds to watch a YouTube clip, and you’ll instantly see what I mean. Their dynamic is built on respect, shared values, laughter, and mutual admiration—not forcing something that isn’t there.

When you’re overly focused on finding a partner just for the sake of being in a relationship, you risk forcing connections that aren’t right. This often leads to ignoring red flags and overlooking signs of incompatibility. True attraction, like the bond you see between Tom and Zendaya, is something that builds naturally over time. It’s not about control or manipulation; it’s about creating a connection where both people feel equally invested and valued.

To attract this kind of love, start by working on yourself. Focus on building your confidence, discovering your values, and being authentic. The energy you project—whether it’s one of self-respect and positivity or insecurity and neediness—plays a massive role in the types of people you attract. When you value yourself and communicate that you deserve unconditional love, you’ll draw in people who respect and cherish you, without sacrificing your identity. 

But you have to believe this. 

If you find yourself struggling with self-esteem, or repeatedly falling into patterns of forcing relationships, it might be helpful to work with a life coach. They will help you to define your values, boundaries, and needs and boost your self-esteem so that you feel whole, regardless of the relationship. They can help you untangle what’s holding you back, develop healthier patterns, and align your energy with the type of love you truly deserve. Remember, it’s not about chasing someone—it’s about attracting the right person by being your best, most authentic self.

2. Take a hybrid approach to dating

Relying solely on dating apps can create a cycle of high expectations and shallow connections. It’s easy to treat dating like a checklist, but this can lead to interactions feeling transactional or forced.

Instead, consider a hybrid approach. Some of the most fulfilling relationships grow naturally from friendships, which are often built on trust, shared interests, and genuine understanding. Friendships form when you meet people through hobbies, work, or mutual connections. These organic encounters give you the chance to build rapport, without the immediate pressure of romantic compatibility.

Research backs this up. A study from the University of Victoria found that 68% of romantic relationships begin as friendships. These relationships tend to thrive because they’re rooted in mutual respect and familiarity, allowing compatibility to grow over time.

That said, you don’t have to give up dating apps entirely, especially if they fit into your lifestyle. Instead, use them intentionally and without placing all your hopes on them. Combine this with in-person opportunities to meet people through hobbies, social events, or shared activities. By broadening your approach, you can create space for authentic connections to evolve.

3. Reflect and learn from each experience

This one might push you out of your comfort zone, but I promise it’s worth it. If you’ve been on a few dates with someone and they decide to call it off, take the opportunity to ask for genuine feedback.

Often, people default to polite excuses like “I’m busy” or “I’m not ready,” but a respectful question like, “I appreciate your honesty—could I ask what made you feel this wasn’t the right fit?” can support your growth. 

It might feel awkward, but remember—you’re unlikely to see them again, and their response might provide clarity or highlight areas for personal growth.

After taking time to process the situation, create a “Lessons Learned” list in the notes app on your phone (or in a journal, if that’s more your style). Write down what you’ve learned—about yourself, about what worked, and about what didn’t. Even short-lived connections can teach you something, whether it’s about communication styles or the qualities you value most in a partner.

Next, create a separate “dating non-negotiables” list. These are the qualities and values that are essential for your well-being and happiness in a relationship. Having this list as a reference can help you stay aligned with your needs and avoid settling for less.

Both lists will be so valuable when you decide to date again to help you break free from repeated dating habits. 


Working with a coach

If you find that your struggles with dating feel more deeply rooted—perhaps linked to self-esteem, fear of rejection, or a tendency to people-please—working with a life coach can be transformative. They can help you identify and break unhealthy patterns, build self-confidence, and develop a more secure sense of self. Often, the challenges we face in dating mirror the way we see ourselves. By nurturing self-compassion and emotional resilience, you create a strong foundation for healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

Ultimately, dating is not just about finding someone—it’s about embracing the process and focusing on the joy of connecting with others. When you approach dating with curiosity, authenticity, and a sense of fun, it becomes a rewarding experience rather than a source of stress. By enjoying the journey and staying true to yourself, the right romantic partner will naturally follow.

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Life Coach Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Cardiff CF24 & London SW1P
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Written by Confidence with Clarissa
International Accredited Confidence Coach (Dip) (LLB)
location_on Cardiff CF24 & London SW1P
Clarissa is an internationally accredited coach specialising in empowering people to feel secure in their identity, life direction, and relationships. Over the past 5 years, she has worked with over 200 individuals. Her expertise includes 1-on-1 sess...
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