Healing journeys: Discoveries & lessons

Healing is often described as a journey. With the traveller often hoping to arrive at growth, change or understanding, it’s an ongoing expedition that is persistently filled with adversities to navigate through and challenges to traverse. But could framing the healing journey as something with a clear ‘end point’ be too limiting and linear?

Perhaps the most powerful destinations can be discovered during the journey itself. After all, there can be inherent pressure in holding on as any painful journey drags to a close. We become impatient, desperate, the process becomes more frustrating, and the destination itself can often seem to be drawing further away. Sometimes during the journey towards healing, there are days when the promise of ‘feeling better’ feels far beyond the horizon.

Why do we focus on arriving?

It's not our fault. It’s a usual part of life to focus on end results. Whether it’s a physical journey from one place to another, a study course with exams or an assessment at the end, or even baking a cake, we might have barely even started before we’ve become preoccupied with how things will be when we finish.

We are conditioned to think in terms of linear journeys that culminate in an outcome, a result, a justification that it was all worth the effort. Much of the advertising industry, for example, plays on this, offering a fast-track ‘route’ to arrive at happiness, fulfilment, prestige or self-respect.

Meaningful moments, serendipitous paths

Of course, the focus on outcomes can be an important part of being motivated. However, the problem is that the road to healing is sometimes not as cut and dried as that. The growth, the learning, the new perspectives, the strengthened resilience, the reframing, the forgiving, the more holistic understanding, and other aspects of the journey often don’t build and proliferate in ways that are wholly logical, convergent, and undeviating – and they can unfold in the most unanticipated of ways.

Unexpected destinations

Indeed, it can often feel as if the deepest healing is taking place when we least look for it, in ways we could have never predicted. Chance encounters and conversations, discovering an insightful piece of information or nugget of wisdom, or an unplanned-for experience that makes you feel something positive, that moves you ahead in your healing journey – however small – seem to have a curious habit of appearing unbidden.

Hold on to moments of meaningfulness 

There are ways of capitalising on such moments to ensure they don’t dissipate without proper validation – journaling, gratitude, discussion with those whom you trust, and reflective thinking can all play a part in exploring further these important discoveries.

Hold on to a positive emotion or a moment of sudden, unexpected calm and explore how it feels in different parts of your body. Is it especially calming to your mind, your hands, your stomach? What kind of thoughts does it encourage? How does this moment influence your actions? Take time to get to know this feeling of calm.

Again, the way that thoughts and perspectives are framed is very important. Reflecting on how far you have come – even in a short space of time – and how much you have travelled from where you used to be is more nurturing than focusing on the overwhelming distance you have yet to cover.

Being open to opportunities 

Creating the conditions to help maximise the chance for these occurrences to take place is useful too. Being present is key – ensuring you focus your awareness on the here and now, rather than becoming too swirled up into the mind as it seeks out, inspects, and categorises dangers and threats. You should aim to remain ‘open’ to recognise opportunities for growth, whenever and wherever they present themselves. Sometimes an opportunity for growth can present itself as nothing more than a fleeting thought or as a single word that someone mentions in a passing conversation.

There’s calm in control

Taking the decision to take the foot off the gas and ‘just be’ on the journey can bring a certain level of control and, in turn, a sense of feeling more grounded, anchored, and less at the mercy of extrinsic events, which is always a good way to keep the fight or flight brain at bay.

There’s no need to wait; you can embark on your new journey at any time.

Which unexpected destination will you explore first?