What does your relationship with abundance look like?

Have you ever wondered why some things come into your life easily, while getting other things is a struggle? Wouldn’t it be useful to understand what might be different about how you approach things that feel easy compared with those that feel more difficult?

Before you read on, pause for a moment and think of what comes into your life easily. It could be money, friendships, partners, career advancement, health, love, car-parking spots – pretty much anything under the sun. There may be something that feels relatively abundant or easy to access in your life, something you tend to accept will be there without feeling a sense of lack.

Something that comes into my life with ease is wood. I am talking mainly about logs for burning, though it extends to all types of wood, which I use to make boxes, shelving, sheds, tables, mirror frames - all sorts of things.

What’s interesting here is the relationship I have with wood. Looking at the list, I began to notice how my attitude towards wood influences what I notice and what I do when opportunities arise. Here are some of the things I associate with wood:

• I am always alert to it – free wood is something that interests me, so I notice opportunities to acquire it
• I associate it with fun – I am never serious or serious about wood
• I love what I can do with it – use it for heating, and make beautiful and useful things
• I have several tools to deal with it effectively
• I love being creative with it
• I usually have plenty of it and don't spend much time worrying about running out
• I do not relate it in any way to my self-worth – it’s just wood!
• I let people know I am looking for it – so they bring it round, or tell me where there is some available
• I enjoy developing mastery with it
• I am relaxed about using it
• I am aware of how much is being used to heat the house, but not worried by it
• I build stores of it (log piles) and enjoy seeing them
• I get excited when there is an opportunity to receive some
• I happily ask for it, and let people know that I am interested in getting hold of it

Do this exercise for yourself with something that flows freely into your life and feels abundant or easy to access – see what you notice about the way you approach it.

Then compare your list with something you would like more of in your life. It could be, well, anything – freedom, money, relationships, work, love, car-parking slots, time – you choose.

What is your relationship with that?

Looking at money as an example, my relationship with it has been, until recently, almost the opposite of all the great things I associate with wood. And talking to a client recently, she was looking at her own relationship with wanting to find a partner.

What changes when you compare the two? Are you less likely to notice opportunities? Do you avoid asking for what you want? Does fear make you behave differently? Are you putting more pressure on the outcome?

I would be interested to know what happens for you if you experiment with approaching the thing you'd like more of in some of the same ways as the thing that already feels abundant.

Putting that into practice, go through the statements about your version of ‘wood’ and replace the word ‘wood’ with something you'd like more of. Not every statement will make sense, but notice which ones reveal a different way you could think or act.

Try it out and see what happens. It has transformed my feelings about money in the last few months, and given me a whole new freedom to be open about it, ask for it and enjoy it.

Now when I think about money, if negative feelings come up, I sometimes ask myself what would happen if I approached it with some of the openness and curiosity I naturally bring to wood.

It won't make everything you want simply appear, but changing the way you think about something may change what you notice, what you ask for and the actions you're willing to take.