4 secrets to manage a fear of failure

Fear of failure can show up in different ways. You might worry about getting something wrong, looking foolish or discovering that you're not as capable as you'd hoped.

The source of the fear varies with the individual such as "I might appear stupid" or "I'm not good enough". But for all of us, the feeling can be paralysing and cause procrastination.

That can then lead to us playing small, not moving out of our comfort zones and not taking up new opportunities.

If you'd like to work on your fear of failure then I have four management techniques to share with you.

1) Stop running films in your head

This type of thinking is known as 'what if' thinking - when we play films in our mind about the possible catastrophes that could happen.

Instead, decide if there is anything you can do to prevent the worst possibilities. If not, then let go of the film because it's out of your control. Distract yourself or focus on what are the positives that could happen.

2) Visualise the obstacles

A study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology in 2011, took two groups of students and asked them to write about what they thought would happen in their lives in the coming week. One group was asked to imagine all positives and the other group was just asked to write down any thoughts about the week that came to mind.

Surprisingly the students asked to be positive about the week had less energy and achieved less during the week than the control group.

The findings suggest that positive thinking alone may not always be enough to help us take action. Research has shown that the best outcomes are created when we balance positive thinking with visualising the future obstacles and struggles we will encounter.

Have a go at visualising a situation in which you are afraid of failure.

3) Separate yourself from the outcome

When you've failed in the past, did you make it about you or the situation? It's important to take responsibility for our actions, but that doesn't mean we are the failure. It's much healthier if you can separate you and your beliefs about yourself from what actually happened.

For example, making a mistake in a project doesn't mean you're stupid or not good enough. It just means you made a mistake and can learn from the mistake next time.

4) Feel the fear (and do it anyway!)

Even if you use the ideas above, you may still have the feeling of fear. Because we don't like to feel uncomfortable, it can stop us moving forward.

Rather than doing something to get rid of the feeling, try sitting quietly with the sensations and deep breathing. You could try stepping back mentally and observing your thoughts and feelings, without immediately reacting to them. You may notice the intensity of fear change over time. Even if some nervousness remains, you can consider whether you're able to take the next manageable step alongside it.

Having realised that the fear is transitory you'll feel more confident to take action next time. 

Fear of failure doesn't necessarily have to disappear before you move forward. Confidence can also come from knowing that you can try, learn and respond if things don't go as planned.