Emotions: Guesses, not glitches - creating the movie of our lives
As coaches, we constantly navigate the complex landscape of people’s emotions. Emotions influence nearly every aspect of our lives, yet we often strive to manage and improve them with limited understanding. This disconnect can lead to confusion and ineffective strategies.

The myth of hardwired emotions
In Western culture, there’s a long-standing belief that emotions are hardwired circuits in our brains from birth. This idea is cleverly illustrated by Pixar, which portrays emotions as cute characters pulling levers in your brain in response to external stimuli. The notion that you must activate your ‘rational brain’ to tame your ‘emotional’ or ‘animalistic’ instincts to succeed at work and enhance your relationships is a compelling yet scientifically unfounded concept.
So, what are emotions?
Your brain is constantly regulating your body, and it inherently dislikes uncertainty; it’s metabolically expensive. To combat uncertainty, your brain makes predictions - or guesses - about what’s happening in your world and within your body, based on previous experiences. You experience these guesses as simulations. You don't detect reality; you create it - much like crafting a movie - shaping your actions and moment-to-moment experiences.
Sensations vs. emotions
Physical sensations in your body carry no objective psychological meaning. Changes in your heart rate, breathing patterns, skin sensations, or heightened sensitivity to visual or auditory stimuli are not emotions in themselves. Instead, the labels you assign to these sensations are educated guesses, created to provide you with certainty and guide your actions - be it crying, smiling, fleeing, celebrating, or confronting someone.
The goal-oriented nature of emotions
Emotions are fundamentally goal-oriented. They not only help you label your feelings but also prescribe your actions. Your brain is constantly preparing your body to undertake the best course of action, drawn from past experiences.
Moreover, your emotional experiences depend on cultural and social norms. For instance, the Japanese emotion of age-otori describes the feeling of looking worse after a haircut, while the Danish term olfrygt (beer fright) refers to the horror of possibly running out of beer. These emotions are just as real and valid as anger, joy, fear, or sadness. You cannot feel an emotion that you have not culturally imbibed or have no name for.
The constructive nature of emotions
Far from being hardwired, your emotions are constructed through brain predictions. They are not merely reactions triggered by external events but rather complex interpretations of your experiences. By changing your behaviours, being open to new experiences, and seeking alternative perspectives, you can alter your brain’s predictions.
Shaping new predictions
Actively modifying your predicted goals enables you to create new emotional responses for similar situations in the future. Understanding how you construct your emotions, recognising unhelpful predictions, and exploring ways to adjust your behaviours is often more effective than trying to override feelings with logic or short-term management strategies.
By reframing your understanding of emotions as guesses rather than glitches, you empower yourself to navigate your emotional landscape more effectively. Emotions are integral to your experiences, and recognising their constructed nature can lead to healthier coping mechanisms and a richer, more fulfilling life.
