What Dolly Parton teaches us about confidence and being yourself

When I watched the Dolly Parton documentary Here I Am, I felt so inspired by her life story and fascinated by what people said about her. The standout comment for me was from her friend Jane Fonda, who described Dolly's life as that of a woman fighting to fully realise herself.

Following Dolly's death in August 2026, her extraordinary career and the way she lived her life continue to offer plenty to reflect on.

Self-actualisation describes the fulfilment of your potential as a person. Self-actualisation is associated with the higher levels of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Maslow believed that people have an inborn desire to be self-actualised, that is, to be all they can be. His theory proposed that human motivation includes needs such as food, safety, love and belonging, self-esteem and self-actualisation.

For me, Dolly’s life and career provide an enduring example of what self-actualisation might look like. She overcame adversity and broke so many glass ceilings in the music business whilst still remaining true to herself. How did she do it?

Find the courage to be yourself

Dolly’s “Coat of Many Colours”, about the coat her mom made for her out of rags, covers issues of confidence, bullying, and acceptance. Dolly has spoken about the song's message of accepting and being proud of who you are.

Jane Fonda has described Dolly as having a strong sense of self and creating an iconic character that was enhanced but still real.

Self-confidence can grow as we become more accepting of ourselves and recognise our own unique strengths and values.

Refine your talent

Dolly had a unique voice, was a brilliant songwriter, and was a fantastic entertainer. Alongside this natural talent, she had dedication, focus, and persistence. She started performing at a young age, appearing on television at around 10 and making her Grand Ole Opry debut at 13.

Along the way, she honed her craft by learning from legends like Porter Wagoner, appearing on his TV show for seven years, then moving on to different record labels and management. She could connect deeply to her audience, and she was funny. Her creativity was astounding, and she is estimated to have written around 3,000 songs. In 2019, she celebrated 50 years as a member of the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville. She knew what it was like to build a career and not have it handed to you.

Coaching can give women space to identify their strengths and passions to develop within their careers. One of the benefits of working with a coach can be the partnership, working with someone who can provide accountability as you put your talents out into the world.

Carve out your boundaries

Dolly was married to Carl Dean for nearly 60 years, from 1966 until his death in 2025. She met him early on in her career and, despite her extraordinarily public life, Carl largely stayed away from public attention.

She knew early on that she would have to carve out boundaries before she got eaten alive. She understood in her career what she was going to have to do to keep her sanity, privacy and space. What would be different in your life if you stopped striving to meet the expectations of others? Coaching can give you space to listen to and trust your own voice and start to understand when to say yes and no to requests made by others.

Surround yourself with positive, supportive people

Throughout her career, Dolly developed strong working relationships with her session musicians, and when she toured, her band was often made up of family members. Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda, her co-stars in the film 9 to 5, have talked about the camaraderie they had on and off set and how they used to laugh so hard.

Think about the people you feel good around and then the people who drain your energy. Where you do have a choice, consider which relationships you want to give more of your time and attention to.

Coaching can be a positive, supportive experience. A coach can provide support while also challenging you to consider patterns of thinking that may be getting in your way.

Make decisions that work for you

One of the best decisions Dolly Parton ever made in her life was not giving up the publishing rights to the song “I Will Always Love You” when Elvis Presley wanted to record it. Elvis's manager wanted a share of the publishing rights as part of the deal, and Dolly turned it down.

Years later, Whitney Houston recorded the song, and it became a huge global success. Dolly's decision to retain ownership of her work demonstrated her astuteness as a businesswoman and her ability to stand up for herself early in her career.

With so much information and advice out there, it can be difficult to make the right decision for you. Talking to a coach can be a great sounding board to get everything off your chest and then have a skilled listener reflect back to you so you have more insight into that decision.

Don’t be pigeonholed

Dolly expressed herself in any way she felt like, from country singer, crossing over to pop with the song “Here You Come Again”, becoming an actress in the woman-led film 9 to 5, returning to her bluegrass roots, headlining the Pyramid Stage at Glastonbury and becoming a novelist.

Her career showed that she liked to move on and try new things rather than stay in one box.

As we mature, we change, and that’s OK. Work we enjoyed in our 20s and 30s may no longer suit us in our 40s and 50s. Changing careers, job roles, or relationships can be challenging. Coaching can provide space to question thoughts about change, for example, “I’m too old to do…” and explore whether the stories we tell ourselves are limiting the possibilities we're willing to consider.

So, if you want to channel your inner Dolly, coaching can provide space to explore your confidence, values, boundaries and what you want from the next stage of your life or career.