Coaching a family with teenagers through transitions

Returning home after living abroad can be a challenging transition for teenagers, particularly when it involves adapting to a new school, rebuilding friendships and finding their place in an unfamiliar environment. This case study explores how Rod used Youth Impact Coaching and NLP techniques to help two at-risk teenagers overcome depression, self-harm, social isolation and family tensions following an international relocation. Through individual coaching, family support and confidence-building strategies, both teenagers were able to reconnect with their strengths, improve their well-being, and successfully settle into their new lives.

Situation

A client was a family in Scotland with two school-age children. The family had moved overseas three years ago and had just returned to the UK. Their two teenage children were not settling in either their school or social environment and had created resentment towards their parents because of the move.

They felt great pressure from their family to do better. They were frustrated by the apparent impossibility of changing their destiny and by their frustration with their lives.

Parents were concerned about the change in behaviour, the occurrence of depression and self-harm

Objectives

As a coach, my objectives were to empower the teens to identify their passions. To reconnect them with those passions, empower them, and restore their self-confidence so they could find avenues that would open doors to start changes. Ideally, to get them to see their challenges as advantages, along with their experiences abroad.  

It was also critical that the parents who were paying for the coaching understood that there was a confidentiality between the teenagers and the coach. This had to be a prerequisite to the agreement for coaching

To stop the self-harm of the youngest teen

Action

Initially, I identified some of the teenagers' key strengths, which included their experiences abroad, their understanding of cultures and language from their 'adventures' overseas and their ability to be a catalyst for change and understanding in their new environment.

To create strategies with the teenagers to build new friendships in their new school, as well as maintain their old ones via social media with those overseas.

To open avenues of discussion to address the root mistrust caused by the frequent moving around. To discuss their concerns and create a family dialogue that allowed for different opinions to be respected and valued rather than judged.

• I tailored youth impact coaching sessions individually with the two teenagers to identify their concerns and open dialogue. 
• Created joint sessions with the two teenagers to see how they could create supportive strategies 
• Created a family session to set ground rules for open discussions and support

Using NLP and Youth Impact coaching, I created a holistic process for the entire family that would allow them to all see and recognise their individuality as well as the benefits of being a family again

This included a 'personal breakthrough' session to increase their confidence and a session to help them understand what was really important to them both in school and life generally.

I then coached them to improve their chances of getting accepted in their new environment and how to really benefit from the opportunity this would offer.

Result

The youngest teen stopped self-harm and moved from minor drug use to become self-confident and self-assured. He went on to enjoy a productive year in his new school and was elected to the student council for the forthcoming year.

The eldest son was able to create new friendships after some difficult struggles. He was able to maintain his close friendships from overseas and will host two of his best friends in the summer for a month. It is proposed that he will later return to his previous country to be hosted by his friend.

The family came up with positive strategies to implement whenever the father's work would entail living elsewhere. Bringing together the family to have constructive discussions and dialogue without being judgmental. 

Academic results increased with both teens as they settled into their new school

And so?

Nine months after the coaching began, the family is moving forward in a positive way. Both teens have settled in and moved away from their 'at risk' behaviour.