Working with teenagers and young adults as a life coach

As a parent myself, I know how perplexing supporting teenagers can sometimes feel. We can find ourselves at the end of our tether, trying to persuade them to spend more time revising, get to bed earlier, stay organised, limit their social media use, or make choices that will support their future. We often offer urgent advice, guidance and warnings about risky behaviours, only to feel as though our words are falling on deaf ears.

Coaching can make a real difference and support young people with a wide range of challenges and opportunities, from preparing for exams, exploring career options, and navigating important life transitions to managing stress, worries, and relationships, and building routines.

It can help them build confidence, develop practical strategies to navigate their world, build healthier relationships and manage social media, as well as provide a safe, confidential space where they can talk openly and explore what's on their mind. Coaching can also help young people find practical ways to support themselves, build self-belief and find a healthier balance. For young people with ADHD and other forms of neurodivergence, it can provide an opportunity to better understand themselves and develop strategies that work for them.

Teenagers are defined as people between 13 and 18. But when we think about adolescence, a broader definition emerges. The World Health Organisation [1] says adolescence is the phase of life between childhood and adulthood and takes place broadly from ages 10 to 19. For some, it may start earlier or finish later. It’s helpful to think about it as a unique stage of human development and learning, characterised by rapid physical, cognitive, psychological, social, and emotional growth. A lot is going on!

Understanding how the adolescent brain develops

Brain research [2] tells us teenage brains are in the middle of a momentous change. The part that manages planning and self‑control – the prefrontal cortex – is still getting up to speed. Because it is not fully online yet, teenagers tend to lean more on the limbic part of the brain system, which is the emotional side, the “this feels exciting right now” part of the brain.

So, feelings hit harder, and rewards can feel more urgent and immediate. When you put those two things together – it’s like a super‑charged emotional engine alongside a decision‑making centre that’s not quite up to speed – it makes sense that some teenagers may take risks, be more impulsive and react quickly without thinking. Over time, the brain's emotional engine slows down and decision‑making gradually becomes more balanced, steadier and thoughtful [3].

It is also a time when they are learning to think more abstractly and play around with complex ideas and concepts. Who you are becoming is also evolving. Teenagers can seem very preoccupied with themselves. Friendship and peers are incredibly important, and decisions are often made based on what their friends think and do rather than parental guidance or a teacher's opinion [4].

Figuring out who they are and how others see them is vital. Sensitivity and self-consciousness emerge, bringing intense feelings to the fore. They can start to feel watched or judged by peers. Though, as parents, it’s important to recognise and remember you can still make your case. It may simply be a question of how you approach the conversation [5].

Knowing the brain is still maturing can help us understand behaviours, needs, wants, and skills like planning, organising, time management, prioritising, and problem-solving. Understanding this allows a coach to offer empathy, patience, and structure to help teenagers connect feelings with thoughtful choices.

Working with teenagers and young adults

Walk and talk and side-by-side

Walking side by side removes the pressure of direct eye contact, making it a really effective way to engage and open up. It shifts the activity from face-to-face into something collaborative, shared, and equal. Walking lowers defences and promotes movement, and research suggests it can even promote a positive mood and release those happy feelings [6]. Working side-by-side can make for some positive conversations.

Going at your pace

There is no pressure to have all the answers or know exactly what you want to work on. A good coach will take time to understand what matters to you, what is happening in your life, and what you hope to gain.

A coach will be curious, ask thoughtful questions and actively listen to guide the conversation. You will have the opportunity to explore what is important to you in a safe and supportive space.

Some coaches use simple tools, such as a Wheel of Life exercise, to help structure conversations and identify areas you may want to focus on. Most importantly, coaching moves at a pace that feels right for you.

Coaching can be fun and enjoyable

Many people imagine coaching as a serious sit-down conversation, but it does not have to be. Coaching sessions can build in activities and be playful. Whether that means chatting over coffee, juice, or a bite to eat; taking a walk; visiting a museum; using creative activities; playing a game; working with visual tools; or simply finding ways to make conversations more relaxed, coaching can be adapted to suit you.

Bringing a sense of playfulness and enjoyment often helps people feel more comfortable, open, and motivated as they work towards their goals. The focus is always on creating an experience that feels supportive, natural, and meaningful for you.

Showing up

Having a coach who shows up when they say they will can build trust, emotional security and a sense of consistency. For teenagers, reliability can feel like a reflection of how much they are valued. Knowing that their coach is reliable can help them feel like a priority and provide a sense of security during tough moments.

Building trust and showing care

A strong coaching relationship is built on trust. For teenagers and young adults, the key is feeling safe, respected, and heard, which builds strong conversations and drives change. Opening up about what's really going on in their lives can feel daunting. Coaching provides a safe, supportive space where they can talk openly without fear of judgement.

From the very first conversation, clear boundaries around confidentiality are discussed so that everyone understands what stays private and the rare occasions when information may need to be shared to keep someone safe. This openness helps build trust and reassures young people that they are being listened to with care and respect. Conversations often become more honest, meaningful, and productive, and new possibilities become possible.

Working with teenagers and young adults is about creating a space where they feel listened to, respected and able to think for themselves. It is not about having all the answers or telling them what to do, but about working alongside them as they explore choices, build confidence and develop their own steps for moving forward.

Life coaching can really benefit teenagers and young adults. If you'd like to know more about how it might be supportive for you as a parent supporting your teenager or for you as a young adult, why not get in touch with a life coach and check out whether this will be something that will work for you. 

References

1. World Health Organization, Adolescent health
2. Sarah Jane Blackmore, (2018) Inventing Ourselves. The Secret Life of a Teenage Brain, London: Black Swan, Ch 4 & Ch 5
3. Ibid, Ch 9
4. Ibid Ch 3 Ch7 &Ch 8
5. Hohnen B, Gilmour J, & Murphy T, (2020), The Incredible Teenage Brain, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, Ch 4 &10
6. Passmore J & Lloyd-Jones E, 2025, Outdoor Coaching, Libri Publishers, pp 58-60.