How smartphones impact social skills

I was very fortunate to have grown up before mobile phones existed. I was in my twenties before the smartphone was a thing. This gave my brain the chance to develop almost fully before technology could interfere. Our young people aren’t so lucky, although I am sure they feel empowered, connected and informed, we still don’t know the extent of the damage smartphones are having on young brains. What we do know is the more the time spent behind a screen, is less face to face time and less time developing social skills and emotional intelligence.

When I was a child, the land line would ring of an evening and it would be aunt Sally, I’d be stuck on the phone making small talk for what felt like hours. These days, kids get to screen calls, edit texts, make messages disappear and choose who to or not to speak to. This type of screening is denying them valuable social skill and emotional intelligence development; the ability to be agile, flex their communication style and language depending on who they are talking to and read and understand people. 
 
Activities carried out on smartphones, like excessive use of social media, doom-scrolling, and gaming, affect our emotional regulation capabilities. The amygdala in the brain is responsible for producing our survival emotions, it warns us of danger. These days danger comes in the form of bullying, academic stress, and however pressure is perceived.

As the smartphone is always with us, always live and ready to distract us and suppress feelings of fear and anxiety, calming the amygdala down – we are outsourcing emotional regulation to smartphones. This, in turn, reduces our capacity to deal with negative emotions without it. Data indicates that young British adults aged 15 - 24 now spend just under five hours a day on their smartphones (around 35 hours a week) – what impact is this having on their future and how will the advances in AI influence what an employer looks for in an employee?

Coaching can supercharge social skills, in its rawest form, it is an opportunity to practice, with the self discovery and confidence building pillars. It can support those whose social skills have been neglected. First to explore what it’s missing and what is desired, then develop new skills, and be held accountable for progress between sessions. All in the confidence of the coach.

Coaching conversations and the work between provide gradual habituation for the client, benchmarks from which to gauge progress and clarity on the plan to move forward between sessions.

I work with people of all ages and communication is enhanced through this process regardless of whether it was the reason for attendance. My latest client is a young man aged 21, our time together is to build self confidence, improve social skills and get him ready for entering the word of work post university. The difference one session made to his well-being, morale and motivation was astounding, a neutral ear and support, opening up this way of seeing the world.

Who would have thought that this seemingly straightforward process could have such a profound impact? I feel very lucky to do what I do. To learn more about how coaching can support social skills, reach out to a coach today.