Coach yourself to give a memorable best-man speech

Giving a wedding speech can feel like a big responsibility, especially if you’re nervous about speaking in front of a room full of people. A little preparation can help you feel more confident and make sure your speech is warm, personal and easy for everyone to follow.

1. Less is more

Keep your speech simple and to the point. Aim to keep your speech relatively short - around five minutes can be a useful guide, although the right length will depend on the occasion. You're there to make a great speech and offer congratulations, not to be part of a lecture circuit.

Most people try to put too much into their speeches; remember KISS: Keep It Short and Simple. It’s been around for a long time, but is still very relevant.

2. Pick a theme

Pick one theme and stick to it. This could be love, school days, holidays, commitment, first days at work; basically, anything that you can hang the rest of your speech on and that draws on your personal experience with the person or couple you're speaking about.

Ideally, make it a theme that’s generic enough that most of the audience can relate to it in some way.

3. Tell a story

Now that you have a theme, think of it as a story. Give it a start, middle and end. You want a short story that people can follow so that it flows together and makes sense.

A clear story can make a speech easier for your audience to follow, so take them along for the ride. If they have to sit there and work out what you are talking about, they may switch off; make it easy for them to follow.

4. Don’t memorise it as a script

You want to know your speech inside and out, but not necessarily as a full script. If nervous, many people learn their speech word for word so that they don’t have to have notes - and then still speak it as if they are reading it from a script.

You need to know what you are going to say but have the freedom to say it in a conversational way. Know the structure and key points, and use brief notes if they help you stay on track.

5. Start strong

Have a good attention grabber. This could be a short story, observation or warm opening that draws people into what you're about to say.

This means your speech starts clearly rather than with a quiet fizzle. Wait until you have the room's attention before beginning; otherwise, the people at the back may miss your first words.

6. Have fun

Despite the possible nerves and wobbly legs, aim to have fun. When you read your own speech back, does it make you laugh, and will others get it? Don’t make it so insular that only the “in-crowd” will understand it.

If you are enjoying telling people your story, then they may enjoy it too. Avoid relying on lots of full-on jokes; joke humour can be personal taste and may not appeal to everyone. Humorous stories tend to be more widely relatable.

Make sure any humour is kind and appropriate for the people you're speaking about.

7. Don’t drink too much

Remember, you need to be coherent and want to be remembered for a fantastic speech, not for slurring, gabbling or falling over. Wedding speeches are often filmed or shared, so it’s worth making sure you're comfortable with how you'll come across.

If some of these are things that you don’t think you can do on your own, or you simply have no idea where to start, coaching can provide an opportunity to work through the structure, practise your delivery, get feedback and build confidence before the day.