What does success mean to you?

Success can mean so many different things to different people: passing an exam with flying colours, becoming a parent for the first time, becoming a homeowner, being more confident or earning a six-figure salary.

Success is a very personal thing, but whatever success might mean to you, if you feel you haven’t managed to achieve what you set out to achieve, you may feel frustrated or as though something is missing in your life.

What is the art of success?

It is often said that success breeds success and having the right attitude is certainly one part of working towards what you want to achieve.

Working towards something meaningful can sometimes involve doing things that feel difficult, uncomfortable or simply less enjoyable. Having a clear reason for doing them can make it easier to keep going.

It has also been said that it is the fear itself of a certain situation that is worse than the actual situation. However, so many people find it almost impossible to break through the fear barrier and face their demons.

Much of coaching is about asking the right questions, listening and empathising with the client and then devising goals and putting manageable steps in place, in order to make some positive and worthwhile changes.

Personal development

Personal development is the process of focusing on increasing your self-awareness, assessing your life goals, personal challenges, and long-standing aspirations. Through working to develop yourself independently or together with the help of a coach, you can begin to identify the changes you want to see in life, gain a better understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, and set yourself on the path to achieving personal success.

Defining what success means to you can give you a clearer idea of what you're working towards.

Personal success through personal development

1. Have vision

Probably the most important aspect of success is deciding what it is you really want. Clarity and vision about what you are going to achieve can help you focus your efforts in the right direction.

2. Accept responsibility

This puts you in a position of power and allows you to take control of the situation - rather than letting it take control of you.

3. Develop a positive attitude

Your outlook can influence how you approach challenges and opportunities. While positive thinking can't guarantee a particular outcome, noticing where your attention goes can help you consider whether your current mindset is supporting you.

4. Ditch the self-limiting beliefs

Past experiences can sometimes influence what we believe is possible for us. If something didn’t work out once or twice in the past, it can be easy to assume that the same thing will happen again.

5. Believe in yourself

I often share the following quote with clients who have low self-esteem and lack confidence: ‘Don’t overvalue what you are not and undervalue what you are.’

We are prone to undermine our capabilities, but don’t settle for less, as you may be capable of more than you currently give yourself credit for.

6. Develop positive relationships

Never underestimate the impact people have on you. Focus on the positive and supportive people you know and meet, and consider the amount of time and energy you give to relationships that consistently leave you feeling depleted.

7. Manage your time effectively

To make the best use of your time, you need to have clarity of purpose. Develop systems that work for you and eliminate those that don’t. Easier said than done, but this is where coaching comes into its own!

8. Set goals and commit to them

This is at the heart of any coaching process. List your goals for all areas of your life - work, family, ‘me time’ - and decide what you want to achieve next week, next month, next year. Then, take the most significant step of all - take action.

Defining success on your own terms

Success doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. What matters is understanding what it means to you and recognising the steps that could move you closer to it.

You don’t need to change everything at once. Start with one area that matters to you, decide what progress would look like and take a manageable step in that direction. As your priorities change, your definition of success may change too – and that’s OK.

Ultimately, personal success is less about meeting someone else’s expectations and more about creating a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling to you.