Perfectionism vs excellence: What’s the difference?

Wanting to do something well isn't the same as needing it to be perfect.

Striving for excellence can motivate us to learn, improve and produce work we're proud of. Perfectionism, on the other hand, can leave us procrastinating, overthinking and struggling to decide when something is good enough.

Understanding the difference can help you recognise when high standards are supporting you – and when they're starting to hold you back.

What is perfectionism?

Perfectionism can involve striving for flawlessness, setting extremely high standards and being highly self-critical.

Although perfectionism can drive you to achieve, it can come at a high cost. You may become focused on how well you're performing, how others perceive you and whether what you've done is good enough.

If you're a perfectionist, you can end up playing small because you don't want to risk feeling uncomfortable or making a mistake. This can lead to avoiding new opportunities, procrastinating or repeatedly thinking that your work – or you – are not good enough.

What does perfectionism look like?

Here are some patterns that can be associated with perfectionism. You may recognise some, all or none of them:

• All-or-nothing thinking: Something is either 100% or a failure. There's no grey area between and no room for 'good enough'.
• Being in control: You find it hard to delegate because others never do it to your standards, so it's easier just to do it yourself.
• High expectations: Your standards for yourself and others are extremely high and may be unrealistic.
• Failing to finish: There's always something more you can do on a project to get it just right, which means you find it difficult to finish and share with others.
• Lots of rules: 'Should' is a frequent word in your vocabulary, and you have lots of rules and expectations for yourself and others.
• Procrastination: Because you don't want to make a mistake or fail, you find it hard to start some projects.
• Rumination and overthinking: You spend a long time thinking about situations that didn't go the way you wanted or 'what if' situations in the future.
• Dips in confidence: Your confidence fluctuates according to your achievements, perceived failures and the feedback you receive.

Reading that makes me feel exhausted, so I'm sure you can imagine the pressure perfectionism can bring.

But there's a difference between demanding perfection from yourself and wanting to do something really well.

What's the difference between perfectionism and excellence?

Striving for excellence can mean doing something to a high standard while still allowing room to learn, adapt and make mistakes.

When you look to master a career or specific area of your life rather than striving to be perfect, there can be more room for curiosity, experimentation and growth.

Developing expertise takes time. It means being ready to learn, accepting that you won't always get things right and recognising that mistakes and setbacks can sometimes give you useful information about what to do differently next time.

Excellence can still involve high standards and hard work. The difference is that 'good enough' can sometimes genuinely be good enough, and getting something wrong doesn't have to mean that you are a failure.

How to move from perfectionism towards excellence

I've found these ideas really helpful for clients looking to move away from perfectionism and towards excellence:

1. Focus on progress, not perfection

Every career or part of life has aspects you won't enjoy and things that won't go exactly to plan.

Rather than focusing only on what isn't right yet, acknowledge what you've already achieved. Ask yourself whether more work will genuinely improve the outcome or whether perfectionism is making it difficult to stop.

Sometimes finishing and moving forward is more valuable than endlessly trying to make something perfect.

2. Be curious

A mindset of curiosity can help you look at situations differently.

If something doesn't go as planned, instead of immediately judging yourself, ask: What happened? What can I learn? What might I do differently next time?

You can bring the same curiosity to other people's behaviour. If a colleague behaves badly, for example, try not to immediately take their behaviour personally and consider what else might be going on.

3. Take manageable risks

Perfectionism can make avoiding failure feel safer than trying something new.

But pursuing opportunities sometimes means accepting that things might not work exactly as you'd hoped. Start with manageable risks that take you slightly outside your comfort zone rather than expecting yourself to make a huge leap.

Setbacks can provide useful opportunities to learn, adjust and try again.

4. Accept that expertise takes time

Developing expertise often takes time and effort, but as a perfectionist, I'm sure hard work doesn't scare you.

The challenge may be allowing yourself to be a beginner, to practise and to improve without expecting yourself to master something immediately.

Being passionate about your career or activity can help maintain motivation, but allow yourself to learn along the way.

5. Challenge yourself to grow

Challenging yourself doesn't mean continually raising your standards until they're impossible to meet.

Instead, acknowledge your successes and then consider what you'd like to work on next. Growth can involve stretching yourself while still recognising how far you've already come.

Excellence doesn't require perfection

When you're working towards excellence rather than perfection, there can be more room for learning, experimentation and acknowledging your progress.

You can still care deeply about what you do. You can still have high standards, work hard and want to improve. The difference is allowing yourself to make mistakes, learn and recognise when something is good enough to move forward.

Remember, perfectionism is a game you can't win.

Now you know the difference between excellence and perfectionism; which will you choose?