3 ways to manage worry and overthinking

To worry is to “feel anxious or troubled about actual or potential problems”. Feeling worried can be distressing; it can cause feelings of agitation, of feeling stuck or trapped. Sometimes worry can feel blinding, like there are so many possible options or no options at all, and you can’t see the wood for the trees.

How do you recognise worry showing up for yourself?

For me, I always notice a tightness in my jaw, and the more worried I get, the tighter it feels. Sometimes I will notice a tenseness in my shoulders that I cannot seem to relax. Other times it is a busy mind that gets louder and louder, throwing me all the possible lines of inquiry to solve the problem at hand.

Worry can come at any time. Sometimes it will just jump up on us, and we feel quite unaware about what the cause of it is, perhaps because there is something we have been avoiding, or for reasons that aren't immediately clear to us. Other times, it will be loud and clear – the times when we feel so caught up in our own thoughts that we actually start to feel out of our minds.

Once we are able to notice the physical symptoms that may accompany worry, we can hold a bit more space for it and begin to understand how we are responding to it. It’s amazing how necessary the mind can make worry feel. It can make us feel like we’re getting somewhere, even when repeatedly going over the same thoughts isn't helping us move forward.

Worry can sometimes prompt us to recognise a problem or take action, but persistent worry can take our attention and energy elsewhere. Perhaps you are focusing on something that happened prior to this moment, or maybe it is a feeling about something you are expecting to happen in the future. When worry becomes consuming, it can take us away from the present moment.

So how can we manage worry?

1. Become aware

Becoming aware of the physical ways in which worry shows up for you in your body can be a useful first step in managing it.

Take a few moments throughout your day to check in with yourself and scan through your body.

How does it feel? Is there any tightness in your body? Any heaviness? Any unsettled feelings?

Do those sensations attach to the emotion of worry? They may be something else completely, in which case, I think the steps below are still applicable. The power is in this noticing.

2. Notice what your mind is ruminating on

Ask yourself if there are any actions you can take that will move you forward in any way.

For example, if it’s a worry about money, can you make a savings plan? Do you want to make a job application? If it’s a worry about a relationship, is there a conversation you could have? If it’s a worry about something going on at work, can you speak to someone? If it’s a worry about your health, do you want to book an appointment?

Taking appropriate action, if we are able, may help us feel less stuck and more able to focus on what is within our control, rather than continuing to add negative, worst-case scenarios to our growing pile of worrisome thoughts.

3. Bring yourself back to NOW

If there is no action you can take, for example, if you are worried about something that is outside of your control, then it’s time to bring your attention back to the present moment.

Accepting we cannot control everything can sometimes help us make space for uncertainty. There are lots of ways to bring yourself back to the present moment, but if you’ve been stuck in worry for a long time, it might feel difficult.

Continuing to gently draw yourself back to now can feel like an effort, but it may become easier with practice.

One way to bring yourself back is through focusing on your breath, closing your eyes if that feels comfortable, and feeling the air moving in and out of your body.

Another option is a simple grounding exercise. Focus on:

• five things you can see
• four things you can hear
• three things you can feel
• two things you can smell
• one thing you can taste

There are lots of coping mechanisms out there to be used. If you sense your mind running away with something, I offer you this: a chance to notice and check in with what’s going on for you.

Finding professional support

If it feels too much to go it alone, and it often can, particularly if you spend more time in worry than in the present moment, you may want to consider professional support.

A wellbeing coach may be able to help you explore practical patterns and triggers, identify what is within your control and consider steps you would like to take. If worry or anxiety is persistent, significantly affecting your daily life or causing considerable distress, support from an appropriate mental-health professional or your GP may be more suitable.