10 ways to build your self-confidence

Self-confidence: how you perceive and feel about yourself and consequently, how you project yourself to the world, underpins virtually everything you do in life.

Confidence can help us do more, pursue opportunities and feel more comfortable interacting with others. Confidence gives you the spring in your step that enables you to take action and create opportunities for yourself. Without confidence, the world can feel like an uncertain, daunting place from which there is a constant need to take cover.

And yes… confidence is something we can develop! Regardless of whether or not we’ve had much experience of it in our lives, we can work on building it; the trick is to take action!

Here are 10 important tips to help you build your confidence and self-esteem:

1. Be mindful of the critics

The world is full of people who may criticise, undermine or put dampeners on your sense of confidence and self-worth. Pay attention to how criticism affects you. Where possible, limit time with people who continually undermine your confidence and surround yourself instead with positive, pleasant people who exude good energy and are very probably pretty confident themselves.

2. Let go of the past

Don’t let negative past experiences or events cloud your future. Learn from them and, where you can, try not to let them define what comes next. Focus on the present, the future self you would like to become and the life you would like to have!

3. Make a change

Focus on one thing you would like to do or change (but have previously held back due to lack of confidence). Write it down as a GOAL, and the steps you need to take to achieve it.

Visualise achieving it in as much detail as possible. See yourself achieving it, hear what others say, imagine tasting the glass of wine/slice of cake/slap-up meal you celebrate with!

Now start following your steps towards the goal. Start small if it’s easier. Once you see the results, the motivation comes to combat the next challenge…and so on. The bigger things can come a bit later on!

4. Focus on the good things

So often some of what needs to change is the way we see things. Do an audit of your life and really focus on the good things in it, as well as all the attributes that YOU have to offer. Without ignoring genuine difficulties, give some deliberate attention to what's going well too.

Really take some time to try to focus on these on a daily basis. Turn them into affirmations and start to think, speak and write positive things about yourself. Recognising what you value in your life and your own positive attributes can support a more balanced view of yourself and your abilities.

5. Learn to say the word NO

There are people out there (and we’re all familiar with them) who may regularly ask more of you than you feel comfortable giving. It’s important to set boundaries, not aim to please and end up with an unreasonable amount on your plate.

Learn to be confidently assertive and very reasonably say “no!”

6. Learn to say the word YES

Don’t be satisfied with a ‘risk-free’ life that just consists of ‘what you know’. Building confidence can sometimes mean taking manageable risks and stepping outside your comfort zone, so say ‘YES’ to trying something different.

Of course you may feel fear and discomfort, and very likely the negative voices in your head will be telling you all the reasons why you can't/shouldn’t/mustn’t…! Tell yourself, repeatedly, “I can do it!”

However small, stepping outside your comfort zone can bring a real sense of satisfaction and achievement.

7. Try something new

Travel, if you can, even just to somewhere you’ve never been that might be just a few miles away. Widening your experiences of places and people can be both a stimulating eye-opener and a confidence booster.

8. Don’t constantly compare yourself to others

Constantly comparing yourself to others can undermine your confidence. We are all unique human beings…the sooner you embrace your individuality and really appreciate who YOU are, the more opportunity you have to develop a strong sense of identity and self-worth.

9. Get physical

That doesn’t necessarily mean going to the gym, or anything else that may send shivers down your spine. But regularly getting your body moving can support your mood and wellbeing and may help you feel better about yourself.

Whether it be regular walks, Zumba classes, or dusting down the old Raleigh bike, get a move on! Your state of mind may thank you for it.

10. Spend some quality time…with yourself

Get to know who you are and invest regular time being with yourself and developing a real sense of being happy in your own skin.

Read, relax, meditate, write, watch movies, go to exhibitions, walk…being able to spend time on your own can give you valuable space to get to know and make friends with yourself: arguably the most important friend you will need.