You could be achieving all your goals, with the right mindset

It’s frustrating to set a goal and fail at it, to know you could have done better but just somehow...didn’t. Why don’t we do the things we know would be good for us? If we knew the answer to that then everyone would be doing it, right? Actually, we do know the answer: your mindset is stopping you. Something in your conscious or unconscious mind is flicking the red light on every time you try to take action. That’s it.


The problem is perception

If it’s so simple then why can’t we just change it? Mainly because you can only solve a problem you can see. 84% of people (according to one study) don’t see their mindset as the problem. In fact, many of us aren’t aware that we have a mindset (a set of beliefs that shape how you make sense of the world and yourself). 

We tend to assume that whatever is in our heads is some kind of truth that cannot be changed. Or that it doesn’t really affect the big stuff in life. “How can something as intangible as my thoughts affect whether there is money in my bank, a partner at my side or I stick to a fitness or work goal?” Gravity is intangible my friends. And that’s why you’re not floating off into space right now. Just saying.

Change your mindset, change your life

Whether you know it or not, your mindset dictates everything. Because it influences every thought, which influences your feelings, behaviours, what you say and how you act.

For example:

If you believe you’re not a motivated person, you will give up the first opportunity you get.

If you tell yourself you’re overwhelmed you will feel like that constantly.

If you believe that anxiety should always be how you react to difficult life stuff, you won’t see the other ways you could respond (e.g. getting curious about solutions instead).

If you fear failure you will rarely take the risks that lead to growth.

If you don't believe yourself to be worthy of love you will act in a way that makes being loved impossible.

Mindset is not just some glib wellness term. It’s the reason why you aren’t where you want to be in life because almost everything in your life right now is the result of what your mindset contains. There is no denying that factors like structural inequality, generational wealth, immature parenting and discrimination all play a part. But on a very basic level, the answer for many of us is not that you're incapable, unlucky or unfortunate - but you believe something about yourself that is holding you back. 

How to create the right mindset

A beautiful mindset creates a beautiful life. It sounds trite but this is just how your mind works. The good news is that you are the creator of your mindset. If you think about your mindset like a projector, the slides that you put into it will create what comes up on the screen opposite. This can create feelings of happiness, confidence, contentedness - or fear, sadness and hopelessness. It can motivate you and make you excited. Or cause you to sit still and feel lost. What most of us don’t realise is that we are the ones continuously putting the slides in the projector. And if you don’t like what you’re seeing up on the wall - and the feelings that it is creating in you - then all you have to do is change the slides.

You have a lot more power than you think you do

There is a huge knowledge gap for many of us when it comes to mindset - what it is, how it works and (crucially) how much control we have over it. Without awareness of all this, you might feel constantly buffeted around by the storms of life, notice repeating situations that hold you back, or the same kind of people turning up and hurting you. Maybe there are things that you just never seem to be able to do, frustrating behaviours you can’t seem to stop, or goals that you’ve had for years and never made progress with. If you go through the process of understanding your mindset then the control is back in your hands. T

here are 4 important changes to make if you want to have a more empowering mindset:

What you know e.g. how to build habits, set boundaries, choose optimism, reduce anxiety and create confidence. 

How you see the world (and yourself). So that you genuinely believe in your limitless potential and know anything is possible.  If you see struggle and hardship that’s what you’ll get because your mind will never prove you wrong.

How you speak to yourself. To master the art of self-motivation, self-soothing and guiding yourself through any challenge. 

How you behave. So that you become someone who takes action. Imperfectly or otherwise.

Bridging the gap between where you are now and where you want to be is where most people get stuck - the HOW.

I have helped 100s of clients to a resilient, confident and joyful mindset that means you meet your goals, progress in your life - and enjoy the experience. I know that what converts effort to success is changing what you know, how you see the world, how you speak to yourself and how you behave.

When you get those elements right you can meet any goal, whether it's finally saying "no" to what doesn't serve you, or calling in the people, work, experiences and attitudes that will.

If you’ve got to a place where you are really fed up with something, or desperate for change, you’re not going to get there by doing the things you’ve always done. You’re going to have to tear up the rule book and do it differently. Resilience coaching is your chance to do just that. You can achieve a huge transformation in your mindset in just 6 sessions - book a discovery call with me to find out more.

I also currently offer a 6-week coaching programme called Change Your Mindset (£355) that combines a mindset plan, 1:1 sessions and 3 x workshops on boundaries, overcoming negativity and creating confidence. If you are ready for a mindset that serves, supports and empowers you, the programme starts on 15th Jan - you can find out more about the programme via a discovery call or take a look at my website for more info.

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Life Coach Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Winchester, Hampshire, SO23
Written by Alex Pett
Winchester, Hampshire, SO23

Alex is an ICF trained and NLP cert coach focused on helping people to deepen their resources to adapt and bounce back - and go on to thrive. She works with resilience to help clients build confidence, motivation, recover from burnout, set boundaries, find joy and move beyond limiting beliefs. Clients achieve tangible change in 6-9 sessions.

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