One key thing to learn to improve your well-being

I’m someone who is averse to laying out big claims such as ‘follow this one simple step and feel better,’ because let’s be honest, it’s often not that simple. Human beings are multifaceted and have the wild and wonderful ability to be a lot of different things all at once – happy and sad, calm and anxious, shadow and light. Add the unpredictability of life on top of it and it would be madness for me to claim there is one way to do something.

Defining well-being

Well-being for me, is this very internal sense of ‘okayness’, a quiet trust that I’m able to ride the waves and with enough awareness, I am able to calm the waves, or perhaps not even create them in the first place. For others, improving their well-being may feel more like a healing journey, for some, it may be taking positive actions to support you to live in alignment, for others it can be generally feeling better within or about yourself. Every day, you’re welcome to choose another definition. After all, you are the author here and there is no right or wrong when it comes to how you want to write your story.

Reflection

I wonder if we were to sit and reflect on our lives, how many times we have looked outside of ourselves to try and feel better? What I mean by ‘looking outside of ourselves’ is this idea that perhaps once we have a new job we will feel more accomplished, or when we master a new hobby we will be having more fun, or when our relationship gets better, we too can finally feel happier. And no judgement on that, particularly in Western culture, I think it is beyond easy to have this outlook.  
 
Our careers, hobbies, relationships, goals, and projects are all wonderful things to want to strive to have the best of. That said, what if we are constantly working towards something whilst only thinking contentment can come once we get there? Only to find that when we reach the milestone, we are still feeling a lack of something and think that our next goal will get us there? It can feel exhausting and disheartening to be operating from a place of ‘lack’ or ‘not enoughness’…
 
What if, instead, we could feel more joy and more freedom, right now? What if we accepted ourselves and our situation with the same kindness we allow to those we love? What if we gave ourselves permission to focus on enjoying the journey and not always feeling discontent until we reach yet another destination?
 
From having spent hundreds of wonderful hours coaching beautiful humans, one thing rings true time and time again. When it comes to feeling better, feeling more empowered, feeling more joy and more freedom, right now, if we learn to practice self-compassion, everything starts to become lighter. It becomes easier to understand our own values and motivations, to understand what we truly want.  

What does self-compassion bring us?  

It’s a fact, we are with ourselves, with our internal chatter 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, for as many years as we live on this planet. Imagine if that inner voice, the roommate inside your head, was outside of you, a real person by your side. Would you like to hang out with them?
 
Learning to practice self-compassion can allow us to have an internal cheerleader. Someone who feels proud of you, exactly as you are now. It can give you someone who knows they are enough and deserves to enjoy life. Self-compassion can remind you that you’re not alone and that you’re okay. Self-compassion can help you to validate your experiences, it can help you to hold space for big emotions and find ways to navigate difficulties with more awareness.
 
Self-compassion can support you to build trust and have a beautiful relationship with yourself. Our relationship with ourselves, after all, is the foundation of our relationships with everything else.
 
Coaching can support you to become aware of your relationship to self, amongst much more. If you’d be interested in coaching with me, book in for a free discovery call.