Letting go will give you the freedom you deserve!
Quite often we blame how we feel on someone else’s words or actions. Can you remember a time when you have been in a bad mood and when a friend asks “What’s wrong?” you reply “he/she has really upset me”. You probably remember a time when you got frustrated and angered by what someone said or did, or maybe annoyed because you didn’t get the anticipated response from a certain person, or annoyed because someone didn’t keep their promise or they let you down. All the above will have an effect on your state of mind, and being offended will cause you to react in such a way that will probably make matters even worse.
Getting angered and upset by what is out of your control is a waste of your energy and time. Wouldn’t it be better to use that energy and time on what is important to you and within your control? It is so easy to take things personally, however the minute you react, it then becomes your problem, and in fact all you have achieved is handing the other person, power over you!
Instead of blaming the way you feel on others’, imagine being impervious to other people’s disdainful words or actions. It is possible, and it doesn’t mean that you will be submissive or avoiding confrontation; it means that you will be aware and in control of what you allow ‘in’.
The first step is to not react. So the next time you find yourself in a difficult situation, stop and take a moment. Assess how you feel, remember you have the choice to either ‘let it in’ or to ‘let it go’. As soon as you react, it becomes a problem! If you choose to let it go, you have held onto your power, your state of mind is calm and you are in control. You will find this very empowering.
The second step is to disassociate. Be the observer; see the event for what it is. This will give you clarity and will prevent your thoughts from running wild. It is important here to be aware that your thoughts on the situation are simply your interpretation; they are simply your own story, your point of view. Your internal representations will always be biased and will influence your feelings and behaviour. Just by taking the time to view the situation and your own thoughts on the situation, will allow the intensity of your feelings to lessen and for you to be more detached.
The third step is acceptance. Accept that what anyone says or does is out of your control; accept that you have the choice to remain in control. Accept that there is nothing to gain by letting it in, other than a negative state of mind. Seeing the bigger picture and being the bigger person will allow you to accept it for what it is and not to succumb to it.
The fourth step is to let go. Now you are in a calm state of acceptance, you can simply ‘let go’. Breathe in and as you breathe out, release all the tension and calmly move on. Feel how good it is to hold on to your power.
By holding on to hurt, pain and anger you are holding on to something that is out of your power to change. Don’t hand your power over to someone else. Remember you choose to 'let it in' or to 'let it go'.
Start to practise this in your everyday life and then when something big comes along you will be well versed in how to handle it.
Find a life coach offering Personal Development Coaching
All therapists are verified professionals.