5 top tips if indecision is ruling your life

 So, you have a decision to make?

Decisions can come in all shapes and sizes and so can our responses. Sometimes, deciding on something is an easy ‘Hell yes!’ or a ‘definitely not’; we feel sure and confident in our choice. Other times, decision-making can feel muddy, sticky and just downright tiresome.

If we are not sure about something, we can soon find ourselves ruminating on it for long periods of time, we can create a busy mind that might wake us in the night to go over the ‘pros’ and ‘cons’ just one more time.

Or perhaps we find ourselves in a cycle of distraction, aimlessly scrolling through social media or finding other ways to put off the issue of not knowing what to do for the best.

This might lead to feelings of frustration, embarrassment for putting something off and even being unkind to ourselves. In the end, we might just take the easiest route, even if it doesn’t feel that good once we’ve done it. It can feel like a bit of a hangover if we repeat this behaviour regularly.

What might seem like a small decision for some, can feel like a huge decision for others, and that’s okay. We are all wonderful, unique human beings, with our own experiences, perceptions and versions of this world.  

It doesn’t matter what the decision is, it matters that you’re able to come to an answer that feels good, aligned and true to you. Also…even if you do end up making the ‘wrong’ choice, there will be something to learn on the way, so with this reframe, it can be quite impossible to do it badly, only an opportunity to learn something.

The following five steps can support you if you’re feeling stuck on what to do.

1. Pause – make time and space to really have some intentional time to do this work.

2. Take the pressure off - is this decision really time sensitive? If it’s not, know that you don’t have to decide right now, you can choose to put it to one side completely and reassure yourself that when the time is right, you can pick it up again. For example, we might want to decide to set a boundary with someone but recognise that it’s not time-sensitive and whilst it means we might need to have our boundary (the one currently still in our heads) crossed a few more times, that might help us learn something new to take the action we need to in the future. We can always learn something.

3. Looking at the decision in front of you, it’s a good idea to write your logical list of ‘pros’ and ‘cons’ for each choice, so that it is parked in one neat place. Often if our thoughts do not feel fully heard and seen, they can continue to shout a bit louder until they get their space.

4. When it comes to the different options you have for which route to choose, consider, which one do you expect to give you the results that most closely meet your personal values and motivations? E.g. if one will give you more money, ask yourself “What’s important to me about money?”, or if one will give you more time with your family, ask yourself “What’s important to me about time with family?” – this can really support you to understand the motivations behind each choice and if they feel aligned to your truth.

5. See if you can be completely honest about it – if you look at the options, which one ‘just feels right’, is there one which gives you a sense of expansion and excitement? Does the other feel more draining and boring? Does one mean you’re going to have to step outside your comfort zone? Is that something you’re ready to do right now?

Trust that doubting yourself, your purpose and your desires is okay. It’s part of our growth journey. Working with a coach can support you to explore your values and motivations, support you to hold space for difficult or uncomfortable feelings and work towards a more aligned life, whatever that might look like for you, without judgement.

If you would like support to create a life with more joy, freedom and authenticity, email me to book in a free consultation call.