Life coach Stephen Covey uses the metaphor of a bank account when discussing relationships. When people spend quality time together or share an intimate moment, it’s like making a deposit. When there’s an argument it’s like making a withdrawal.
The key is to make sure the relationship is always in credit, meaning the good must outweigh the bad. Relationship researcher John Gottman believes that the positive experiences in a relationship should outweigh the negatives by around five to one.
It’s also important for couples to stay positive, and respond to one another in a positive way. This can become harder when other circumstances put the relationship under strain. Rather than grand gestures, it is the smaller, simpler actions that count.
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