Women: Making those big decisions in your 30s with an ADHD brain

If your brain feels like it’s playing emotional pinball every time you try to make a life decision… you’re not alone.

For women in their 30s - especially those recently diagnosed or beginning to self-identify as neurodivergent - the pressure to “get your life together” can feel overwhelming.

• Should I have a baby? (What about my 'body clock?!')
• Should I stay in this relationship?
• Is it too late to change careers?
• Why do I feel like I still don’t know who I am?

You are not weird, you are not losing the plot, and you're (probably) not having a 'mid-life crisis'. 

People think ADHD is a focus issue. It can be, but it also impacts how we plan, weigh up our options, and regulate emotions - all vital for decision-making.

This might look like:

• overthinking to the point of burnout
• waking up feeling panicked, even when you've written a to-do list
• avoiding decisions until they become emergencies
• swinging between extremes (“I’m moving abroad!” -  “I’ll just settle.”)
• deep fear of making the “wrong” choice
• paralysis because everything feels urgent (so much to do that you sit there feeling frozen, and do nothing)

I promise, you are not behind. Your brain (and body) are trying to tell you something, and it's a bit harder to hear what is being said with ADHD.

If you’ve taken longer to figure life out, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’ve adapted to a world that hasn't evolved to support your brain.

In fact, most of the late-diagnosed ADHD women I coach feel like they’re starting again - and that’s not failure. Think of it as a rebirth, a fresh start, and an exciting time for positive change. 

Going through this alone is possibly one of the most terrifying journeys we take. When we look around, it feels like all our friends are getting married, having babies, moving abroad, finding new hobbies... whilst you might feel like you're wading through quicksand, barefoot, with nobody pulling you out.

There are currently thousands of women in this very boat. Women who are just learning about their own neurodivergence, maybe diagnosed, maybe not. Women who are looking at their 20s with a type of grief, even a bit of anger at the lost years of being misunderstood by others (and themselves). Women who may not have the understanding of their parents, siblings or friends. And so many women are now struggling to communicate their needs, desires and dreams to those they love.

How coaching can help

In coaching sessions, we can untangle:

• What you truly want, not what you’ve been told to want.
• How to stop second-guessing yourself and start trusting your intuition.
• The patterns that are holding you back (hello, people-pleasing and perfectionism).

You don’t need to be more productive, and you don't need to 'tame' yourself. 

You need to be more you, starting with how you understand yourself. 

Whether you’re navigating:

• motherhood or childfree living
• marriage or leaving
• staying in a job or walking away

You don't have to carry this alone. Find out about neurodivergent-specific coaching and how a little bit of support could go a very long way.