Where does “ME” time fit in on your to-do list?

Self-care is often overlooked. And it makes sense why we may devalue its worth.

Why self-care deserves a place on your priority list

In the priorities of the modern world… where can it surely fit in with the demands of everyday life, keeping your head afloat and fighting to meet the never-ending deadlines?

We can become so judgemental of ourselves and others to perform a certain way, where success is defined in monetary terms rather than what truly matters to each individual, that we can often forget the journey to reaching “success”.

So at what point do we stop and listen to what we truly want? And consider what “success” even means to us?

Here is the answer… more often than not, we don't! Sometimes we don't pay attention until we start noticing the effects of feeling stretched – perhaps difficulty sleeping, exhaustion, irritability or feeling that we're struggling to keep up.

When self-care is ignored, and we continually push ourselves without enough opportunity to rest or recharge, we may begin to feel increasingly stressed, overwhelmed or exhausted.

Thus, the journey of seeking happiness can be long and disappointing as decisions and even indecisions create troublesome outcomes.

Take time to pause and reflect

So take a pause and reflect on each item on your to-do list today.

• How do they fit in with what you are working towards in your lifetime goals?
• If you didn’t do it today or tomorrow, what would that mean to you in a year, two years' time, five years' time?
• How does each item on your list make you feel?
• How would it feel if you completely removed it from your to-do list? Could it be delegated or de-prioritised?
• Are you even working on a to-do list? Or are you being pulled from one thing to the next?

When we move without consideration of the overall end goal, our end goal can feel scattered. Like we have to be everywhere… all at the same time. We can also realise that what we have been working on actually has no bearing on where we want to be.

When we know where we want to be, we realise the race becomes a marathon, and we consider all the elements required to get there. The training, the nutrition, footwear… all elements become equally important, including rest and self-care. And we can consider how we will enjoy the journey for the long haul, rather than the sprint.

Now consider how it would feel to prioritise your self-care and place it as number 1 on your to-do list. Maybe this practice feels too hard, awkward or selfish for you right now. Or maybe you just don’t know how to slow down.

I hear you. You may have beliefs about productivity, responsibility or putting other people first that make taking time for yourself feel uncomfortable or selfish.

And so, when you have also been conditioned to work with no time for reflection, restoration, and just being, it can be like transitioning a car from 6th gear to 2nd.

So rather than dismiss the emotions that come up, try to:

• Allow yourself to just notice.
• Consider the benefits that might arise by giving yourself this space. How will it impact you, the way you show up, and what you can give to your day? Who else could this impact by you giving yourself this space?

And, finally...

• Practice. Practice. Practice.
   

Here are my 10 top tips to help you along the way

1. Schedule in self-care. Just like you would with any other appointment. If you can, colour code it so you can see the balance in the week.
2. Nurture yourself. Take note of how this looks for you. This could be meeting for a walk with a friend or snuggled with your favourite book and a coffee. What you are drawn to may be different from one day to the next depending on what you need.
3. My body is my temple. Think about what helps you feel rested and cared for. This might include getting enough sleep, making time to relax or booking a massage if that's something you enjoy.
4. Get moving. If you are new to exercise, have a play with what feels good to you. For me, some days it is dance and yoga and other days running. So be mindful of how you feel from one day to the next, season or time in your life.
5. All about balance. Self-care doesn't always need to mean doing more. Some days you might want movement and activity; other days you might need rest or something quieter.
6. Meditate. Meditation can be one way to pause and bring your attention to the present moment. We then go further as we take a journey of self-discovery. For some, this isn't accessible yet. Remember that is ok and look at this list holistically and as a journey.
7. Write your thoughts down. Writing things down can give you space to reflect on what's on your mind. Maybe you notice a pattern of events, or you use your journal to communicate what you struggle to say out loud.
8. Surround yourself with positivity. Easier said than done, right? Again, so I'm not saying ditch your closest family and friends here, but think about how you can protect your time and boundaries around the challenging people in your life.
9. Be kind to yourself. This is so god damn important!! Rome was not built in a day. You don't need to have everything figured out immediately.
10. Let go. Of comparing yourself to others. You are unique; no one else has lived your path.

Self-care doesn't mean doing all 10 of these things or creating another list you have to complete perfectly. Start with what feels useful and realistic for you. What you need may also change from one day or stage of life to another.