Three steps for changing unhelpful mindsets

Our mindset shapes the way we think, behave and respond to life's challenges. While some beliefs help us grow, others quietly hold us back. The encouraging news is that mindsets are not fixed. By recognising unhelpful patterns of thinking and consciously reframing them, it is possible to develop a more empowering outlook and create lasting positive change.

What is a mindset?

A mindset is part of a belief system that can govern our behaviours, and it can be beneficial or limiting.

Often, mindsets are passed onto us via parents or adults who are responsible for us in early childhood.

Carol Dweck, in her book 'Mindsets', has written extensively about how some people have 'fixed mindsets', and others have 'growth mindsets'. Fixed mindsets, where the individual feels they cannot learn anymore, are particularly limiting. It’s accepted that it’s important to encourage growth mindsets where people believe they are capable of changing, improving their skills and learning in many different areas of life. The good news is that if you have a growth mindset, then you should be able to change any unhelpful, limiting behaviours.

Examples of limiting mindsets

One example of a mindset that is limiting is when someone thinks they are hopeless at public speaking. It could be from an experience whilst at school when they were asked to give a presentation in front of the class, and this didn’t go well for them.

This belief may have developed from an experience many years ago, but can continue to influence your career and confidence today.

Other common limiting mindsets include:

• 'I’m not good enough' (also known as imposter syndrome)
• 'I’ve only got myself to blame'
• 'I’ve not succeeded well in the past, so I’m not going to in the future'
• 'Anyone who aims for perfection in everything they do'

Three steps to change limiting mindsets

Step one - Identify the limiting mindset

Identifying your limiting mindset is the first stage in trying to overcome it. A coach can help you to do this. Self-awareness is a useful first step in changing your thinking. Once you have identified a mindset, it’s a good idea to write it down. If there is more than one limiting mindset, then it's best to tackle each one at a time.

Step two - Analyse the mindset

Ask yourself whether you have an automatic reaction in certain situations. Is there a moment when these occur, where you can take some time to pause to think whether you have some choice over this reaction?

Recognising and reflecting on this automatic reaction will be crucial to changing it. Often, this reaction is outside our consciousness unless we take that pause to analyse our response. If it’s embedded in our unconscious, at this stage you have moved through the first stage and you’ll be aware of the mindset.

Change won’t happen overnight, as the mindset is ingrained and has become part of your habits, so don’t be too hard on yourself and take small steps. At this stage, you’ll be noticing triggers that will set off the mindset, and if you have an attitude of curiosity towards them, it can be helpful.

Step three - Reframe the mindset

To reframe the mindset is to introduce a new internal dialogue around the situation. At this stage, it would be helpful if you could tell yourself a more positive story when you are in a situation that triggers you. Challenge yourself to do this, try something new, and break your old patterns.

It can feel difficult to change a limiting mindset by yourself. However, help is out there, and engaging a coach can give you the confidence to reframe your old mindsets.