The uncertainty of your 20s

Are you in the “fun years” but not feeling the fun? Let’s face it, your twenties are completely overhyped. You’ve been told, “These are the best years of your life!” Whether it’s older generations urging you to “enjoy your freedom while you can” or the constant stream of social media-perfect moments — engagement announcements, exotic getaways, and “finding yourself” in Bali — it’s hard not to feel like you’re falling behind.

Here’s the thing, though: your twenties aren’t the “golden years.” In reality, they’re more like a decade-long identity crisis. You’re juggling underpaid jobs, situationships, and the occasional existential meltdown, all while trying to piece together a version of adulthood that feels authentic to you.

If you’re feeling lost, overwhelmed, or just plain stuck — you’re not alone. And you don’t have to stay in this headspace.

The myth of “Having it all figured out”

First things first: let’s dismantle the idea that you need to have your life sorted out by a certain age. Spoiler alert: you don’t. Your twenties aren’t a race, and there’s no finish line declaring you “successful” or “behind.” Despite what you may tell yourself, this is a time to try, fail, pivot, and grow. Every so-called mistake is just a step closer to figuring out what you really want. So, let’s set aside those impossibly high, self-critical standards for a moment.

Life is a paradox — Here’s what that means for you

Here’s a game-changing piece of wisdom: everything in life is a paradox. You won’t find happiness by chasing perfection because perfection doesn’t exist. And that’s liberating. Even when you reach a goal, another “problem” or desire will inevitably arise. That’s okay— it’s part of being human.

The answer is to find peace in the present and strive for contentment and balance over perfection. For me, this realisation shifted everything. I stopped obsessing over what I thought my life should look like and started appreciating the small joys: savouring my morning coffee in bed, laughing with friends, or just pausing to breathe. When you let go of the impossible, you open yourself up to real, tangible joy in the now.

Authenticity is your superpower

If you’re asking yourself, “What’s next?” — the answer lies in authenticity. It’s not about getting it “perfect”; it’s about getting it real. You’re going to stumble. You’ll make choices that don’t work out. But the magic happens when those choices come from a place of authenticity. Align your decisions with your values and desires, not societal pressure or social media comparisons, and you’ll figure it out — I promise.

Here’s an example from my own life: I trained as a lawyer because I thought it would bring me happiness and success. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. Why? Because it didn’t align with me. I ignored my authentic needs for a while. I burned out, switched to a job at a mental health charity, got laid off, returned to law (and hated it), and eventually found my calling in life coaching.

The key lesson here? Each misstep brought me closer to the purpose-driven career I love today. By alleviating the pressure to live my life in a particular way, I found what was meant for me.

Letting go to level up

This isn’t just about your career; it applies to your relationships too. Let go of what doesn’t serve you — whether it’s a toxic friendship, a situationship that drains you, or your own inner critic. Make room for connections that support your growth and authenticity. When you release what’s not working, you create space for what truly matters.

This is all easier said than done, so here’s a life coaching activity I love doing with my clients to help them work out what they authentically desire:

Finding your authentic path: A practical exercise

Still feeling stuck? Try this exercise:

1. Visualise your perfect day:

Write down what your ideal day looks like. Not a fantasy “win the lottery” day — just a bog-standard fulfilling working day, but one where you aren’t being practical or realistic. Imagine a day with no limits. Where would you be? Who would you spend it with?

2. Design your ideal week:

Take it a step further. Think about how you’d structure a week that feels aligned with your values. Again, try your hardest not to think about current constraints. Focus on what genuinely brings you joy — go a little “YOLO”.

3. Reflect:

Take some time to look over your perfect day and ideal week, and pick out three things that really align with you but you’re not currently taking steps towards. If this feels overwhelming, trust your gut and intuition.

4. Plan:

Start taking micro-steps on a daily basis to align yourself closer to your perfect day and ideal week. Schedule these micro-steps into your week. If you struggle to do this alone, a life coach is the perfect accountability partner and support when self-doubt creeps in.

This activity helps you pinpoint what feels right for you and shows you where your current routine might be out of sync. Sometimes, even small tweaks can create big changes in how fulfilled you feel.

 How can a life coach help with this?

If you’re overwhelmed or unsure how to move forward, consider working with a life coach. Here’s why:

• Clarity: A coach can help you sift through the noise—social expectations, self-doubt, or career confusion — and focus on what really matters to you.
• Accountability: It’s easy to set goals and lose steam. A coach keeps you focused and motivated, helping you stay on track.
• Confidence: Your twenties are full of self-doubt. A coach helps you build self-esteem so you can make decisions with confidence, not fear.
• Tools for growth: Whether it’s goal-setting, stress management, or navigating big life changes, a coach equips you with practical strategies to thrive.

You’ve got time 

Here’s the bottom line: your twenties are about exploration, not perfection. It’s okay not to have it all figured out. What matters is that you keep moving forward, one authentic step at a time. Imagine looking back on this time and feeling proud — not because everything was smooth or perfect, but because you stayed true to yourself and built a life that feels right for you.