The fear of failure

Fear of failure can quietly shape the way we think, behave and respond to the world around us. Often rooted in our desire for approval and acceptance, it can influence our confidence, our decisions and the expectations we place upon ourselves. Yet when we begin to understand where these fears come from, we can start to loosen their grip and develop a more compassionate and grounded sense of self.

"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt."
William Shakespeare

Fear of failure is, more often than not, the fear of not measuring up to others, or of falling short of what we believe to be the expectations of others. Such anxiety does not originate from within us but is acquired over years of conditioning. As such it can be identified, observed, and left behind us.

The need for external validation

Our desire for appreciation, approval and esteem can compel us to abandon our inner selves in the futile search for external affirmations of our worth. The desire to please others to feel of value becomes a need, and this is a hole that can never truly be filled.

Finding value within ourselves

If, however, we can make positivity of outlook, goodness of intention and compassion our moment-by-moment companions, the appreciation we once sought so desperately fades in importance, and we no longer have that need to satisfy. Instead, we are warmed by a profound internal sense of ourselves, our world and our core values.

The importance of self-compassion

Whatever we seek, we should allow ourselves the luxury of compassion, the patience and the common humanity we so easily give everyone else.