Does your job control you? 12 coaching questions

Do you ever feel like your job has control of you rather than the other way around?

When you've had a bad day at work, it can be a real release to go home and download your frustrations to your partner. The question is, do you want them to listen, sympathise, offer advice or a combination of all three?

If you don't know, they probably don't know either, so don't be surprised if you don't quite get what you were hoping for. Added to that, your partner may find it difficult to stay neutral when the potential impact of your situation affects the whole family.

For many people, it's hard to hear someone they care about feeling unhappy without wanting to fix the problem.

It isn't uncommon to reach a stage in your career where you begin to question whether your current job is really what you want to do for the rest of your working life.

You may feel that you're in the wrong job, or perhaps the role simply hasn't turned out the way you imagined when you first started.

Over time, what can become even more uncomfortable is the feeling that your job has more control over you than you have over it.

Added to this, many of us have family commitments and financial responsibilities that make changing direction feel much more complicated than it once did.

A major career overhaul may eventually be the right answer. Equally, taking time to establish what is most important to you, and the role work plays within your wider life, can often be enough to restore a sense of control and clarity.

What you're doing today may not need to change dramatically. A few thoughtful adjustments, a fresh perspective or clearer boundaries may make more difference than you expect. Equally, you may decide that some of the things missing from work can be found elsewhere in your life.

You may be considering a complete change of career, a change of employer or a change of industry, or perhaps a combination of all three.

Alternatively, a few carefully chosen changes to your current role, together with the reassurance that staying is a choice rather than something you feel trapped into doing, may completely change how you see your work.

Here are 12 questions to get you started.

1. What will happen if things at work stay exactly as they are?
2. What needs to change?
3. What do you enjoy most about your job?
4. Assuming there were no obstacles, what would you change to make your job better?
5. What obstacles are standing in your way?
6. Who could help you?
7. What is the first thing you could do to begin making these changes?
8. What support or resources would help you move forward?
9. Where else could you look? Do you need any training or development?
10. How will you know the changes have worked?
11. By what date would you like to see some progress?
12. How will making these changes positively affect other areas of your life?

Take your time with these questions.

You don't need to answer them all at once, and you certainly don't need to have everything worked out immediately.

Sometimes asking yourself better questions is enough to help you regain a sense of direction. Once you feel more in control, it becomes much easier to decide whether your next step is to stay where you are and make changes, or begin exploring a new direction.