I feel low but can’t work out what is making me feel this way

Do you ever wake up with a sense of dread about the day ahead and you are not sure why? The alarm signals the start of a new day, and you just want to roll over and go back to sleep! This could just be that you are tired and not had enough sleep but sometimes it can be a way of your body telling you that something is not right in your life.

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Mostly our instinct is to brush off that feeling and just get on with the day as it does just tend to get better as we become busier. So, we push it to the back of our minds and try not to dwell, until we wake up again with the same feeling.

Feeling low without a clear reason can lead to frustration, confusion, and even self-doubt. And as we know, self-doubt can lead to a loss of confidence which can impact every area of your life, so it is important to understand what has made you feel this way.

On the surface, nothing may seem particularly wrong. You have a job, a happy relationship, and maybe even a decent work-life balance.  

Yet, something feels off. 

It’s as if there’s a cloud hanging over you, but you can’t pinpoint why. You feel stuck and don’t know how to move forward.


Emotions are complex

One of the reasons it can be hard to figure out why you’re feeling low is that emotions are incredibly complex. Often, we’re dealing with layers of feelings, some of which may not be immediately apparent. 

The first thing to remember is to not make big changes when you are feeling this way! You know the saying “things always look worse at night”? Well, it is the same with emotions. When you feel low, everything looks bad and the temptation is to look in the wrong places for solutions.

We often suppress or ignore our emotions but this can lead to emotional build-up, making it harder to work out what’s really at the heart of the problem. We might assume it’s our job when the reason is something more fundamental – our living set-up or some unresolved relationship issue. We take positive action and change jobs but after the initial excitement of something new, the old feelings return, and we feel perplexed. 

If it’s not the job making me feel this way, then what is it?


What can we do to work out what is going on?

If you’re feeling low or unmotivated but aren’t sure why (and you know you want to take positive action), there are several steps you can take on your own to explore what might be going on so you can start to feel better.   

1. Identify emotional triggers

You may be thinking that you don’t why you feel low so how can you identify what is triggering you?!

But just start by reflecting on recent events or changes in your life. 

What has changed? 

Has something seemingly minor triggered your low mood? A change in working hours, a friend moving away, the change of seasons?

Write down any noticeable shifts in your routine, relationships, or environment, and consider how they might be affecting you emotionally.

By identifying these potential triggers, you can gain a clearer understanding of what might be contributing to your low mood.

2. Clarify your values

Do you know what your values are?  

It is important to work out what truly matters to you in life.

What activities, relationships, and goals make you feel fulfilled? Once you identify these values, consider whether your current lifestyle supports them.

If there’s a mismatch, think about small changes you can make to align more closely with your values. For example, if creativity is important to you, but you’ve been neglecting creative pursuits, set aside time each week to engage in an activity like painting, writing, or playing music. 

Even small steps toward living in alignment with your values can improve your overall well-being.

3. Look at your beliefs and how you see yourself

Our beliefs play a significant role in how we feel about ourselves and our circumstances. Often, feelings of low self-esteem, inadequacy, or fear of failure stem from unconscious beliefs we’ve held for years. 

To identify these beliefs, ask yourself questions like:

  • What thoughts do I have about myself when I’m feeling low?
  • How do I talk to myself when I am low in confidence?
  • Do I place unrealistic expectations on myself?
  • Am I comparing myself to others?  Comparison can be an unhealthy emotion – see an earlier article on comparison anxiety.

By challenging negative or limiting beliefs, you can start to break free from the patterns that contribute to your low mood. So, if you believe you’re only valuable when you’re productive, remind yourself that your worth isn’t tied to constant achievement.   

Practising self-compassion and reframing negative thoughts are key steps toward improving your mindset.  

With a stronger mindset, your confidence will start to re-grow, and you will find that life just doesn’t feel so bad.

4. Practice mindfulness and self-compassion

When you’re feeling low, it’s easy to be critical of yourself or try to push your emotions away. Instead, practice mindfulness by being present with your feelings without judgment. 

It’s so easy to pretend to ourselves (and others) that we are fine and that our feelings are trivial.  Accept how you feel and sit with the feelings for a while without immediately trying to find a solution.

Self-compassion is another important practice. Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend who is struggling. 

5. Take action!

Life coaching is all about setting goals and working towards them in a practical way.  But we can often be unrealistic when doing this – setting large, ambitious goals makes us feel better but if you are feeling unmotivated, it’s hard to even take the first step forward.  

Set yourself small, achievable goals. This way you can regain a sense of control and purpose.

So, if you decide that your job is the cause of your low mood, but you don’t know what to do, start small.  Start by researching alternative career paths, update your CV, or speak to someone who you admire who is in a job you would be interested in. 

Taking even the smallest steps toward change can create momentum and a sense of progress.

6. Build healthy routines

Establishing routines that support your physical and mental well-being is essential when you’re feeling low. A regular sleep schedule, nutritious meals, and consistent physical activity can significantly impact your mood and energy levels. 

Try to incorporate activities into your daily routine that bring you joy or relaxation, such as reading, cooking, dancing or spending time with friends.

Remind yourself that it is ok to relax and take time for yourself. If you build relaxation time into your schedule you are giving yourself permission to rest and enjoy yourself!

7. Talk to others

It can be tempting to suffer alone when you’re feeling down, but wallowing will not help. Find someone you trust and respect and just talk it through with them. Sharing your thoughts out loud often helps you gain new perspectives and feel less alone.


Do not suffer in silence. Remind yourself that you are not the only one to feel like this – we have all had low moments in our lives and have managed to pull through. You will not feel like this forever.

If you have tried to take steps to help yourself but still feel stuck or unsure of what’s wrong, a life coach can work with you to uncover the deeper causes and set you on a path toward emotional well-being and personal fulfilment. You might discover more about yourself than you thought you would!

Whether you’re looking for guidance, accountability, or simply someone to help you reflect more clearly, a life coach can be the partner you need to rediscover your motivation and happiness.

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Life Coach Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Letchworth Garden City, Hertfordshire, SG6
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Written by Sema Rubins
Life & Career Change Coach | ACSTH (ICF) | BA (Hons) | DipM
location_on Letchworth Garden City, Hertfordshire, SG6
Sema Rubins is a transformational life coach working with all ages and anyone who is going through a transition period in their lives.
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