“I don't recognise myself anymore.” The real cost of burnout

From caregiving to neurodivergence, parenting to financial crisis, burnout isn’t just a consequence of the workplace. And we aren’t talking enough about how it makes us feel.

84% of millennials are affected

A recent Deloitte Workplace Burnout survey of 1,000 full-time US professionals found that 77% of all respondents had experienced burnout in their current job. Rising to 84% among millennials. These are really the only type of stats that we have on burnout because the culture in which we live still only really recognises burnout as a workplace thing. But it’s not. In fact, any situation that is causing you chronic stress will - if it goes on for long enough - cause you to burn out. 

At the moment - because of the focus on workplace stress - there’s a lot missing from the conversation on burnout. And many people feel like they don’t have a ‘right’ to feel it because the workplace context isn’t there. The thing about burnout though is that not recognising it is one of the main reasons it gets worse. Because if we don’t do that we can never take steps in a different direction. That’s why raising awareness of the fact that burnout can be the result of neurodivergent stress, caring for an elderly relative or partner, parenting, sustained financial crisis - and many more situations as well as in the workplace - is really vital.

As someone who has experienced burnout twice now (one work-related, one not), I also feel like there isn’t enough of a conversation about what an identity-sapping process burnout really is. “I don’t recognise myself anymore,” is a quote from an article that anyone who has experienced this will relate to. Burnout is much more than just something physical - it can leave you feeling like a blank page.

What is burnout?

The basic definition of burnout is that it’s a state of physical and emotional exhaustion. As usual, because anything to do with mental health is still something that a capitalist society only really takes semi-seriously, it can seem a bit mysterious, like maybe you just need a bit of time off work and some sleep. But this is something that needs to be treated as seriously as a heart attack because it affects our entire being.

The reality of burnout is an emptiness. Yes, lack of energy is part of it but this is a feeling of being utterly drained of life force, enthusiasm, creativity, spontaneity, affection, or everything you need to function daily as a human being. My own perspective of it is that you’re not just physically exhausted by life but your mind and nervous system have been scoured out by it too. The result? Constantly feeling like you’re weighed down physically and being mentally devoid of personality, ideas, enthusiasm or, frankly, giving a sh*t anymore about anything.

Burnout does physical damage

In one study, burnout was found to cause premature ageing of the brain. In another, it was a significant predictor of hypercholesterolemia, type 2 diabetes, heart disease, cardiovascular problems, musculoskeletal pain, gastrointestinal issues and dying before the age of 45. So, if you’re someone who needs a tangible outcome to take something seriously, there it is. 

It can also take around three years to recover from burnout

And I think this is something that both individuals and organisations have yet to really appreciate. Once you get to that place of burnout it’s a long road back. Shorter, if you have the right support (working with a resilience coach like me for example) - but nevertheless it’s not something you can turn around overnight. This is why, recognising the early signs of burnout is so important. Because then you still have a chance to turn things around.

If you’re reading this, the chances are you’re starting to feel burned out

And that means it’s time to take some action. Here are my tips for doing that:

Stop dismissing what’s happening

You will know deep down if something is wrong - but you may also try to resist acknowledging that because you don’t want to have to deal with it. Or what you fear it says about you as a human being. This is a path that will take you to the worst possible place with burnout. It’s already happening; ignoring it won’t make it go away. 

Stop shaming yourself

There’s a whole load of shame still tied up in being “weak” or “not able to cope” - and this is often why we resist acknowledging a reality that already exists. Running from a problem requires a lot less strength than facing it. You can’t heal what you refuse to feel.

Draw a line in the sand

Something has led you to this point and the likelihood is that something is (or those somethings are) still happening. As Einstein said, it’s the definition of madness to keep repeating the same things and expect a different result. You’re going to need a different approach going forward, whether that’s making life decisions, changing your mindset, adjusting your priorities or asking for help. There’s no need to figure all that out right now but you do need to take a step that (to you) signifies it’s time for change.

Reaching out for help is that step for a lot of people

It’s hard to do but it feels good when you’ve done it. Resilience coaching contains a lot of the components we need for preventing burnout and also for burnout recovery - as well as avoiding a repeat further down the line. From boundary setting to confidence building, making life choices and setting goals to identifying what really matters and how to make the best possible version of your life a reality we will cover it all. Plus, the nervous system healing, recovery and mental re-energising will bring you back to a grounded and calm place.