Have you ever hesitated before speaking up? This is for you

Have you ever hesitated before speaking up in a meeting, sharing an idea, or asking a question — only to convince yourself to stay quiet? 

That fear of communicating isn’t "just" nerves. It can be about much more. It can be linked to a hidden belief that you don't truly belong, that you’re not as competent as others think you are and that any moment now, you’ll be exposed as a fraud. In other words, second-guessing yourself can be linked to imposter syndrome. 

You may well have thought any number of the following:

• “They’re going to think I don’t know what I’m talking about.”
• “What if I sound stupid?”
• “Someone else could say this better than me.”
• “What if they ask a question I can’t answer?”
• “I should probably just stay quiet and think it through more.”
• “I don’t want to take up space if it’s not really important.”

These are often the scripts that play on repeat in the minds of people struggling with imposter syndrome, many of my clients have these scripts and I have them sometimes too.

The most common consequence? Staying silent. The thing is, it is staying silent which reinforces the fear — making it even harder to speak up the next time.

Why do we fear speaking up?

At its core, the fear of communicating often comes from a need for certainty. If you’ve ever felt like you had to be 100% sure before voicing your opinion, you’ve likely fallen into this trap. Imposter syndrome can trick you into believing that unless you have the perfect words, the perfect timing, and the perfect answer, you shouldn’t say anything at all.

This is particularly common in environments where hierarchy and power dynamics are at play. Research on power distance — the way we perceive authority — shows that when we feel “lower” in a hierarchy, we’re far less likely to challenge, question, or assert ourselves.

The result? People with valuable insights, creative ideas, and important perspectives hesitate to share them.

The tricky thing is, that there is often only one answer to helping build back your confidence. That is, taking action. You see, action comes before confidence rather than the other way around. 

Breaking the cycle

The first step to breaking this cycle is understanding that fear doesn’t mean you shouldn’t speak — it just means you care about how you’re perceived. And while that’s a natural human instinct, it doesn’t have to control your actions.

Here are three key ways to start communicating more boldly, even when self-doubt creeps in:

1. Reframe the fear

What’s the worst that could happen if you speak up? Often, our minds catastrophise the outcome: “I’ll say something dumb, and everyone will judge me.” But in reality, the risks are often much lower.

Instead of thinking, “What if I say the wrong thing?” ask yourself, “What if my idea actually helps?”

Instead of fearing being wrong, consider what you might learn by engaging in the conversation. Growth doesn’t happen in silence — it happens in participation.

2. Lower the stakes

People with imposter syndrome often think that every time they speak, it has to be ground-breaking. However, not every contribution needs to be perfect or profound. Sometimes, simply agreeing with someone, asking a clarifying question, or summarising a point can be enough to build confidence in your voice.

Try small, low-pressure contributions like:

• “That’s an interesting point. Could you expand on it?”
• “I noticed X — has anyone else experienced something similar?”
• “I have a thought on this — what do you think?”

By making speaking up a habit, you shift from seeing it as a big risk to just another part of engaging in discussions.

3. Do it and just know you might come across as a bit nervous (this time!)

Confidence isn’t built in isolation. It’s built through doing when you’re afraid. The first time you challenge yourself to contribute more, your voice might shake. You might stumble over your words. That’s normal.

But what matters is that you keep going. Each time you push past self-doubt, you prove to yourself that your voice matters. And the more you do it, the easier it gets.

Remember that you belong in the conversation

If you’ve been waiting for the moment when you feel fully ready to communicate without fear, I have news for you: That moment might never come. But you don’t need it to. You just need to take action before you feel ready.

So, here’s a challenge: What’s one thing you’ll speak up about this week? Maybe it’s a question in a meeting, an idea you’ve been sitting on, or feedback you’ve been hesitant to give. 

The truth is, you don’t need permission to take up space. Your voice is already worth hearing.