Learning to respond to fear differently

It doesn’t matter who you are - we all know what it is like to experience fear. It can come in many guises, from the sudden jab of fear that stops us in our tracks to the more subtle underlying discomfort that hangs around when we feel anxious about something. Fear pulls our attention to tell us that we are under some kind of threat, and it can be an uncomfortable feeling. But that is all it is - it is a feeling.

Fear is a fundamental survival instinct that is extremely important, and yet it is something that we quite often try to avoid. It also has lots of negative connotations. Throughout history, those who have apparently acted without fear are held up with admiration and seen as exhibiting aspirational behaviour.

Individuals such as Alexander the Great, Elizabeth I and Nelson Mandela were all extraordinary in their endeavours and could be described as “fearless”. Perhaps more accurately, however, they went beyond the norm of human achievement because they did what they did despite their fear. They believed that if their worst fears came to pass, they were prepared to cope with the consequences, which could be considered a form of confidence.

Perhaps accepting fear as a natural part of our existence, and learning how to respond to it in a way that we find acceptable, might serve us better than avoidance.

Understanding the fear response

Research has allowed us to understand more about the underlying mechanisms of how we experience fear, and many of us are familiar with the “fight or flight” response.

In brief, when confronted with a challenging situation, our body undergoes a physical change. We perceive a threat in our environment, which causes the brain to activate the stress response. This can lead to a range of physiological changes in the body. We are not aware of many of these changes, but we may be more conscious of our heart beating faster, muscles tensing, an inability to think straight, or our mouth going dry.

In today’s world, it has been suggested that the stress response can become overused, leaving people feeling exhausted and as though they are not in control of their lives.

It is therefore no wonder that, in this hectic world, there is a thirst to relieve the pressure. This may help explain why many people seek respite in practices such as mindfulness and yoga. The principles of mindfulness have been around for thousands of years, but the modern version is being eagerly consumed both by individuals and organisations.

In relation to feelings such as fear, mindfulness tells us that we can learn to stop fighting it. Fear is a fierce enemy, and trying to deny, squash or control it can be extremely difficult. Perhaps this is because it is ultimately making an appearance to try and protect us, and will therefore do whatever it takes to keep us from harm.

Whatever the reason, mindfulness suggests that rather than trying to change or control how we feel, we may do better to be curious about it. Accept the situation and try to investigate it in a detached way. This can be done by considering where exactly any fear may be manifesting itself in the body and what the feeling is like.

In addition, rather than fight fear, we could perhaps try to befriend it by understanding its motivation to protect us: “I am very grateful for your concern, but despite your presence I really need to do what I’ve got to do.”

In society, we can see fear as weakness, which can mean that when we feel it, we immediately start to negatively judge ourselves or even try to deny its presence. By accepting the experience for what it is, we are actually being more honest with ourselves, which can be a freedom in itself.