Why vulnerability matters in leadership and coaching

"It is based on mutuality and requires boundaries and trust. It's not oversharing, it's not purging your innermost feelings or thoughts, it's not indiscriminate disclosure, and it's not celebrity-style social media information dumps."
– Brené Brown, Daring Greatly

Understanding vulnerability

Simply seeing people as human rather than the boss, the cleaner, the barman, etc. is a start.

It is a strong sense of self-confidence that accepts that we are all good enough. It presents a person with human warmth that exudes both strength and fallibility that is engaging. We all recognise these people almost instantly!

We often protect ourselves with the shield of invulnerability and, by doing so, undermine the very response that would have supplied us with genuine protection.

Invulnerability brings feelings of shame that lead to alternative behaviours that are not attractive because they are so out of line with who we really are. When shame becomes a management style, engagement dies. When failure is not an option, we can forget about learning creativity and innovation.

How leadership shapes organisational culture

Our own experience of leadership in organisations tells us that the instant the leader at the top of the organisational structure changes, certain values and influencers permeate through the structure. These values are either trust conducive or not, tested over time by employees, customers and stakeholders.

When your career no longer feels right

Our personal career direction is in the balance here. We are all required to earn a living and feel as though we contribute to society.

If we had an open choice, free from the monetary requirements and other values, many of us would have taken another career direction. It is the crossroads of career that often highlights the direction we could have taken, finding ourselves in an organisation that does not really fit who we are as a person.

The personal realisation of unease is triggered by leadership values and change externally, or coming to a stage of needing to feel more connected, more authentic to our purpose. People who come to this stage in life can choose a career transition or executive coaching as the solution.

Many people reach a stage where they think:

"I'm not quite comfortable here, but I'm not sure what comfortable should feel like."

It is often at this crossroads that career transition coaching or executive coaching becomes valuable.

Finding the right organisational fit

When we move into an organisation that is a vulnerability-free zone, questions are raised about the style of leadership and values. We also question ourselves and our relationship to the organisation. How did we arrive here? The answer to this question is often one of practicality and family responsibilities.

The what-if scenario presents the dare to be you challenge and goes back to being able to be good enough and trusting that this attitude and state of mind will bring us to a position where we naturally fit and find our best fit.

Our obligation to being who the organisation engaged at interview can be different to the person that we really are, or are aware of having become, through personal recognition and our relationship to organisational values and leadership.

What if I allowed myself to be more authentic?

The facilitation of authenticity is the real value to the client and the organisation and to any coaching relationship. As part of executive coaching or career transition, it is often initiated by a personal evaluation and eventual realisation of some ‘unease’ at mid stage in our careers.

The role of career transition coaching

When progressing down the coaching route, person-centred opportunities arise and bring opportunities to both the individual and organisation, even if the ultimate decision is that the organisation and the personal fit are not quite right. 

The organisation will benefit from being able to appoint or redeploy the skills and talents of the individual in a different way. 

The individual takes away the ability to become more authentic and congruent with the organisation and self, at the least understanding their journey more fully and recognising that by being allowed to be vulnerable, they are ‘good enough.’

Authenticity benefits individuals and organisations

This has a by-product to the company, where the fit is recognised as not being quite right, the acceptance and realisation bring a sense of comfort and with it a coping strategy of acceptance that is good enough.

The outcome is an altogether more engaged employee because they have an increased awareness from their journey. The ultimate final journey may result in a career transition or simply a more settled and engaged person. Either way, a win-win situation for vulnerability and authenticity.