Do you believe everything you think?

If you are browsing this website and reading this article, you might be contemplating hiring a life coach and wondering whether it could be right for you.

So, some questions I have for you are:

• Do you believe everything you think?
• Do you feel like you have control over the way you think?
• Do you often read situations negatively?
• Do you blame people or circumstances for your situation? Do you sometimes feel helpless?

All these questions are important in the field of coaching. When we feel stuck, anxious or overwhelmed, it may be connected to a feeling of having little control over our situation. Our belief in our inability to change our thoughts and behaviours can often become part of the problem.

Learning to question negative thoughts

By asking ourselves pertinent and challenging questions about negative thoughts, we can begin to dispute them and loosen their hold.

Example: You walk into a room and smile at a person you know. They don’t smile back.

Negative thoughts: “They don’t like me. They are ignoring me. No one likes me in this room. They have all been talking about me. I am useless and unlikeable.”

Challenging questions to ask yourself

• Is the thought real? Is it true?
• Could the person be worrying about something that is bothering them and be completely oblivious to you?
• What evidence do you have to prove your thought?
• Can one person not smiling at you really mean you are useless?
• Does this really mean that everyone in the room doesn’t like you?
• Is your current mood affecting your judgement?
• Are you nervous, anxious or thinking the worst?

This is a simple example. Being able to recognise a negative and disempowering thought is the key. Then you can learn and practise challenging it.

If you can develop this skill, you may begin to feel more in control of your thoughts and, in turn, your emotions. This can support your self-esteem and self-confidence.

Remember, don’t believe everything you think.