Understanding self-confidence: What it is and how to recognise It

Confidence is often understood as the belief in one’s ability to succeed or achieve a specific outcome. Psychologist Albert Bandura linked this to the concept of self-efficacy, the belief in one’s capability to organise and execute the actions required to manage different situations. Confidence, therefore, is not just about skill or competence, but also the mindset we bring to challenges and opportunities.

In life coaching, confidence plays a pivotal role in how clients approach goals, overcome obstacles, and envision their future. We have to believe we'll be ok at having a go at creating what we want our lives to look like. Otherwise, we don't try. We then stay stuck. 

Self-confidence is often described as the belief in your ability to succeed or handle challenges. But self-confidence isn’t just about thinking you can achieve something; it’s also about trusting yourself, valuing your worth, and feeling comfortable in your own skin.

It's about trusting that you'll be OK to handle the outcome regardless of what happens.  There is an internal assurance that you can rely on your own abilities, decisions, and judgment. It’s not about being perfect or having all the answers, but rather about believing you can face challenges and handle life’s uncertainties.

Self-confidence allows you to:

• Take risks without fear of failure or rejection.
• Handle setbacks with resilience.
• Communicate your needs and boundaries clearly.
• Pursue goals with determination and focus.

Importantly, self-confidence is not arrogance or overconfidence. While arrogance stems from insecurity and the need to prove oneself, true self-confidence is grounded in humility and self-awareness.

We sometimes end up thinking that if we lack self-confidence in one area, it must mean we lack self-confidence completely, but that's just not true. Our confidence levels can very much depend on the situation. 

To help you understand where you might have self-confidence already, here is a short list of moments and behaviours to consider. If you tick one of these even momentarily, that means you have some self-confidence in you!

1. You’re comfortable being yourself

You’re at ease with who you are, imperfections and all. This means you don’t feel the need to wear a mask or pretend to be someone you’re not to gain approval from others.

2. You embrace challenges

Self-confident individuals see challenges as opportunities for growth rather than threats. You’re willing to step out of your comfort zone and try new things, even if success isn’t guaranteed.

3. You’re not overly concerned with others’ opinions

While constructive feedback is valuable, you don’t let criticism or the fear of judgment dictate your actions. Your self-worth isn’t tied to external validation.

4. You make decisions without constant doubt

You trust your instincts and can make choices without second-guessing yourself. Even when faced with uncertainty, you’re confident in your ability to figure things out.

5. You handle criticism constructively

Instead of feeling defensive or defeated by criticism, you view it as an opportunity to improve. You’re open to feedback without letting it diminish your sense of worth.

6. You maintain healthy boundaries

Self-confidence allows you to set and maintain boundaries in relationships. You’re not afraid to say “no” or stand up for your needs, knowing that doing so doesn’t make you selfish.

7. You’re willing to take risks

Confident people understand that growth often requires stepping into the unknown. You’re not paralysed by fear of failure because you know setbacks are a natural part of success.

8. You’re resilient in the face of failure

When things don’t go as planned, you don’t dwell on the negatives. Instead, you pick yourself up, learn from the experience, and move forward.

9. You’re genuinely happy for others

Self-confidence means you’re not threatened by other people’s success. Instead of comparing yourself to others, you celebrate their achievements while staying focused on your own journey.

Even if you don't do these things all the time, if you can think of one or two moments where you do them, we've got some self-confidence to work with, and that's all we need to start.