Increase in people feeling lost in their 30s and 40s surrounding life milestones

Life Coach Directory member and career and confidence coach, Latasha Baynham, comments:

“I’m hearing more and more people in their 30s and 40s asking a version of the same question: ‘I did everything I was told to do. I’m working so hard, so why do I still feel so behind?’

“Many millennials grew up hearing the same message from their Baby Boomer parents: follow the rules, work hard, and life would fall into place. A stable career, a home, marriage, and children. It wasn’t presented as one version of adulthood. It was presented as the version.

“I often see that pressure show up differently across genders, but the common thread is the same: the world is more expensive, less secure, and less predictable than the one we were promised.”

Life Coach Directory member and career and leadership coach, Donna Burgess, adds:

“Amplified by social media, the culture of comparison is now global. The contrast between one life path and another (single vs partnered, child-free vs parenting, corporate vs freelance) has created complex benchmarks. Milestones have become public fodder, subject to the whims of external validation. Whilst optimising everything means nothing feels enough. 

“This is arguably a reflection of how economic uncertainty, housing costs, employment fluidity and shifts in societal scripts have changed the landscape and created more ambiguity.”

Life Coach Directory member and happiness career coach, Jenny Holliday, shares the advice she gives her clients in this situation:

“Feeling lost can often also be about feeling nervous around our next steps – will they be the 'right one' for us? Will we make a mistake, or get it 'wrong'? Societal pressure to achieve milestones hits us from all sides – from politicians to greeting cards!

“The answer is to think about your own goals, rather than looking at all the things other people are doing. Feeling lost is helped by focusing on what you can control."