Wearing unhappiness like a comfort blanket

Wearing unhappiness like a comfort blanket is a poignant metaphor that carries both visual and emotional weight. Imagine a person draped in a heavy, tattered blanket, its threads worn, and its colours muted. This blanket represents their unhappiness, a weight they carry around constantly. It might obscure their features, making it hard for others to see the person beneath the layers of sorrow.

Metaphorically, this imagery speaks volumes about the emotional state of the individual. Much like a comfort blanket, unhappiness offers a strange sense of security. It's familiar, known, and oddly comforting despite its heaviness and darkness. The wearer might find solace in its familiarity, even if it brings them pain.

As humans, we often wear our unhappiness like an invisible comfort blanket without being consciously aware of it:

• We might favour dark and dreary coloured clothing, heavier textures, loose and baggy that cloak and disguise our physical features.
• We might unconsciously and unintentionally hunch under its weight, shoulders slumped, and head bowed, conveying a sense of isolation and emotional burden.
• We may avert our eyes, they might be downcast, avoiding direct contact, reflecting a withdrawal from the outside world due to the veil of sadness we wear.
• We might conceal the comfort blanket all over our bodies, an extra layer of protection, a protective blanket all over our physiology, like a protective shield from either past or current threat of emotional, verbal or physical attack, perhaps masking our insecurity, protecting us from a sense of being unsafe or to repelling any unwanted attention from either past or present predation.

This imagery suggests a reluctance to let go of hurt or sorrow, perhaps because it feels safer than facing the uncertainty of change or healing. It may also indicate a fear of vulnerability, as shedding this blanket of unhappiness would expose us to the rawness of emotions and the unpredictability of life.

While unhappiness may offer a sense of familiarity and comfort, it also limits growth and genuine connections. The challenge lies in gently letting go of this blanket, acknowledging its presence and its role without allowing it to define or confine one's life.

Understanding the original experiences that led you to need to wear a blanket of unhappiness can help you gently begin to let go, this doesn’t necessarily mean revisiting past trauma or negative experiences as this rarely helps shed the unhappiness, it tends to increase the weight and burden.

What tends to work best is to objectively look at these areas:

• When did the unhappiness start?
• What are my beliefs about carrying the burden or weight of unhappiness?
• Is it current or past its sell-by-date?
• How would I like to change this? (stated in positives)?

Most often, it requires a multi-level approach to unburden yourself from the weight of unhappiness and, frequently, the support of loved ones or a trained professional. There are many things that you can do for yourself that can facilitate gently letting go of the burden and weight of unhappiness. Here are a few suggestions:

Mindfulness and acceptance

Acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Allow yourself to feel unhappy without attaching yourself to that emotion. Mindfulness practices can help you observe your thoughts and emotions without getting swept away by them, creating permission to allow feelings to flow instead of wrapping them around yourself like a heavy blanket.

Gratitude practice

Focus on the positives in your life. Regularly reflect on things you're grateful for, even the small things. This practice can shift your perspective from what's lacking to what's abundant. Start a happiness journal that is filled with all the positives that occur daily and reflect on these when you sense the weight or burden of unhappiness.

Self-compassion

Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Practice self-compassion by talking to yourself as you would to a friend in a similar situation. Be gentle with your self-criticisms for they usually only serve to increase the burden and weight.

Engage in activities you enjoy

Spend time doing things that bring you joy and fulfilment. Engaging in hobbies or activities you love can create moments of happiness and distract you from negative thoughts allowing the blanket of unhappiness to gently slip off.

Connect with supportive people

Surround yourself with positive and supportive individuals. Share your feelings with trusted friends or family members who can offer empathy and encouragement.

Limit negative influences

Identify sources of negativity in your life, whether they're certain people, social media, or news, and consider limiting your exposure to them.

Focus on personal growth

Set small, achievable goals for personal development. Accomplishing these goals can boost your confidence and provide a sense of purpose, whilst allowing the space to rid yourself of the burden and weight of past unhappiness.

Physical activity and self-care

Exercise and taking care of your physical health can have a significant impact on your mental well-being. Even small steps like going for walks or practising relaxation techniques can make a difference. Perhaps you can also imagine leaving a small bit of the weight or burden behind you as you walk.

Seek professional help

If unhappiness persists and affects your daily life, consider seeking guidance from a coach or a therapist or counsellor. Professional help can offer tailored strategies and support.