Stuckness and reversing methods
Often, when we get stuck in a stage, self-doubt is starting to slowly erode our self-confidence. The longer we remain stuck, the more confused we become. Stuckness itself is nothing but a mind filter and, like every filter, is perceiving the external and internal world in a specific way.
It might be useful to mention that external situations are mirror reflections of the internal stories created by our mind. Once we have created a story, we then attach it to an external person or circumstance. By doing so, we are projecting something from the inner world to the outer world. This is not right or wrong, it's just how the mind makes meaning (sense) of what is going on around us. In the stuckness stage, our mind creates pessimistic stories rather than constructive ones that would enable us to make progress.
When we are stuck, there are a few common ways in which we are acting:
- We are not doing anything, in consequence, we remain locked in that stage. Often in this stage, our mind starts generating the classic 'what if?' type of questions. These questions don’t lead to any result. Their effect is usually intensified confusion and lowered self-confidence.
- We take actions chaotically to move away from stuckness, which is perfectly understandable. This may lead to making some small progress, but it has negative consequences - a vast amount of energy consumption that can easily lead to burnout effects.
- We make ourselves busy or immerse in social media for a considerable amount of time. This method provides us with relief from feeling stuck and acts as a distraction. A side effect of this is the fact that a vicious circle is created because our mind perceives this as a quick reward for which no effort must be made.
These behaviours are common for a reason. They are automatic responses of our mind when faced with blockages and hardship, often described as default modes.
Just to make it clear, there should be no shame or guilt attached to these behaviours. We are all falling into default modes at some point. What is important is how we can reverse the stuckness and move forward healthily and productively, in a way that makes us feel content and at ease with our decisions.
Ways to reverse stuckness
We might believe that in order to move forward we need to go through hell and back; to push hard. I am pleased to tell you that there is no need for that! The first step to reversing stuckness is to go back to basics by taking the following steps.
Check-in with your personal values
In a previous article, I’ve written more in-depth about what personal values are and how they may show in our day to day life. Typically, we hold up to five main principal values, however one of them represents our drive force. If you are well aware of your personal values then great - all that is required is to check in with yourself to see whether one or more of your values were underused, not used at all, or overstepped by others which might’ve led to stuckness.
Remembering your qualities and strengths
Similar to the previous exercise suggested, write down 5-10 personal qualities. After completing the list, take each quality and describe, with details, one moment you can remember when you have utilised this quality; how did you feel? You should dig a little deep to uncover and describe this situation using as many details as possible.
Once you have completed the exercises, you will be in a grounded place emotionally and feel more confident within yourself. By moving into this place, you can trust that your decisions, whatever might be will be aligned with your values and who you are.
When making decisions from a place of alignment, we feel more at ease and in flow with our actions, as opposed to forcefully attempting to move forwards whilst we are in a stuckness stage.
I trust you will find these tools useful and that you will move from where you are right now to where you would like to be.
If you are struggling to remove yourself from stuckness mode, please reach out to a coach.
Working with a coach makes the process a lot easier whilst you are receiving much-needed support throughout this journey.
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