Secretly overwhelmed? Let's look at what might help

Feeling overwhelmed by life can feel painful. And it’s something that seems to be on the increase as our lives become busier and well, more overwhelming! 

Burnout, seen as the step after overwhelm, is now seen as a fairly common result of our modern lifestyle, and is devastating to those that experience it, so how can we help to stop it from getting so far?  

Can we find ways to help people to recognise and deal with overwhelm so they find a return to peace of mind and contentment, thereby avoiding more overwhelm and even burnout?

If feeling overwhelmed is so common, why do so many of us hide it, pretend it’s not happening and soldier on without asking for the support that we need and, more crucially, deserve?

Why do we hide our overwhelm?

I’ve recently posed this question to friends and clients and the answers that I’ve received are pretty standard and, sadly, not surprising.

They include the following – I should be able to manage. I’m ashamed to admit it. Others have it a lot worse than me. No-one will understand. Talking about it won’t help. I don’t want to burden others with it. I’m just being weak. If I don’t do everything, no-one else will. Everyone else is coping, what’s wrong with me? I’ve not got the energy to even think about it.

Shame. Guilt. Embarrassment. Such horrible feelings to be living with!

Peeking through the door

The answers above always come with a feeling of heaviness, of resignation and awkwardness. They are often accompanied by a shrug, a deep sigh and a wry smile. And then I get “Anyway, enough about me. What’s happening in your life?” The classic deflection.

And I understand that. We feel that if we start to peek through the door of overwhelm to see what’s really going on we’ll be met by a rush of feelings and upset that will not only affect us, but also those around us. 

And so, it’s just not worth the risk. Is it?

Taking the risk

I would say yes, it absolutely is worth the risk. The clarity that comes from talking it out and sharing our thoughts is calming to our entire body. Every cell thanks us! And actually, those around us will as well.

Peeking through the door of overwhelm in a safe and nurturing space is one of the best things we can do for ourselves. Not always comfortable, but, in my experience it's always worth it.

Allowing some head space leads to new thoughts and good ideas for better self-care, creativity and growth. We start to feel lighter, more excited about life and start to remember who we really are, underneath the overwhelm.

Notice the feelings and talk it out!

The feelings that accompany overwhelm are signals for you to take a breath, look around and find some support. This is where a coach can help.

Someone who will hold a safe, judgement free space and listen deeply as you open the door of overwhelm.  

Listening, reflecting, encouraging and advising are all essential coaching tools that will help to move you away from overwhelm into a clear minded space where the creative energy flows.

It’s a lovely place to be!