Life coaching you to happiness

Impossible? Not really!

That all-elusive goal of ‘being happy’ seems unattainable for many people for a time, for a period, for a lifetime. But yes, coaching can help you to achieve that goal, as with any other goal. The process is the same.

Identify and clarify your goal. Plan the steps required each day to take you step by step towards your goal. Develop the necessary resources you identify you need, as and when you need them (or can do it).

Take action on each of those steps at every opportunity and consistently until you reach the goal, every single day, a big step, a leap, or a baby step.

Monitor and record your progress, celebrate success, reward each achievement of a step or mini goal and certainly your primary goal. Flex and adapt to changes, obstacles, problems and solutions, too.

The problem with ‘searching’ for happiness is that you haven’t quite thought about what that means. It isn’t intangible, it isn’t magical and it certainly isn't impossible to achieve. And it also isn’t going to appear without effort on your part or be handed to you by other people.

You have to work on it and at it all the time. It will change as you change, circumstances change, and events happen around you. It will need constant tweaking and monitoring, just like everything else in our lives. Nothing ever stays the same for long. Change is a constant in life and living.

The first step seems the hardest – to identify what happiness means for you and you alone.

The next steps seem difficult because firstly you likely haven’t identified them or made them achievable and accessible (SMART goals and work objectives, remember) and it can seem overwhelming and so long to achieve!

Yet it isn't.   

It may also have different titles or at different times.  Like contentment, satisfaction, fulfilment and more. Hence the monitoring and tweaking often.

Part of the life coaching process is to monitor and check-in, assess and sometimes, tack the steps or path to your goal – or even your actual goal! And that goal will also change as and when changes take place for you… or you make those changes happen!

Recognise ‘happiness’ is not a state, a fleeting feeling, a moment in time that you recognise for a short time and then move on, manage problems, make necessary adaptations and flex with the current circumstances you are in.  

What does happiness mean for you? Not the family or business but life - your life. Identify feelings more than objects or practical things that will help. Identify what is missing now if you aren’t happy with your lot. Identify things that need to change to move from here to there, including a realistic timescale.

SMART goals and objectives

Specific – happiness is too vague, hence you need to dig and delve to find out what makes you happy.

Measurable – how will you know you are happy? Feelings are affected by your circumstances, emotions, events, changes, situation and environment

Achievable - is it actually possible for you to do this? “If you can imagine it, you can create it” is this realistic, do you believe that and act on it?    

Targeted – the timescale this will take you. Think about happiness and its fleeting and changeability, there will always be problems to deal with, stressors to manage and change, events you didn’t expect or want, and obstacles that drop in when you least expect it or need the additional pressure!

Plan of action

Each step from where you are right this moment to achieving the goal and feeling the feelings to know you ‘arrived’ and yes, this might be temporary or changing.

Step by manageable step - daily, weekly, monthly, annually and a lifetime of steps to maintain your ‘happy’ state.

Monitor and record progress daily in a formal log or self-styled booklet or a journal, your business plan, your calendar. However this will work for you. Have regular check-ins for yourself – weekly, monthly, quarterly, annually. It all helps drive you forward.

Rewards and celebrations – small or big, not in proportion to the achievement necessarily, share with others and let them encourage you and celebrate for you too.  These cannot be the actual achievement of the goal or step, the relief you have done it. Rewards can be as simple as sitting back and savouring a cup of coffee whilst reflecting on your achievement or as big as that expensive, large or previously non-existent items that you look at and will recall your efforts and achievements!

So take steps, take care and be happy!