How to overcome your fear of rejection.
In 1977 there was an article published in New York Times which revealed a large percentage of respondents feared public speaking more than fearing death.
Do you feel fear when you make a sales call, ask someone for a favour, blind date, have to say No to your family / loved ones, or need to pitch a presentation at work?
I was a model and an actress for 10 years and let me tell you I had more come backs than Tom Jones. It was part of the deal to face rejection daily. I learnt we can either curl up and contract or go back out like Katie Price and Simon Cowell and vow to ourselves to become mega successful. Remember
SW, SW, SW..........Some will, Some wont, So what?
We all have a predisposition towards needing safety and acceptance. We need to re programme that part of our brain so its says 'whatever happens I approve of myself and I am safe.'
Whether you are on the phone or face to face:
1. Stand upright, send all fear to your feet.
2. Take 3 deep breaths.
3. Talk slowly.
4. Curb your neediness.
5. Say over and over to yourself 'I approve of myself'.
Oprah Winfrey says "There is a level of you that has to be OK no matter how things turn out, because the Universe doesn't ever work with desperation".
When we communicate self respect and integrity, that's an attractive combination. Neediness kills this 'joie de vivre'. It basically says 'I am not OK, but you are OK'
Its essential not to allow fear of rejection, and failure stop you chasing your dreams or living your life.
Sarah Jessica Parker says "With success comes rejection and disappointment too. My husband and I have had so many disappointments, even though it may not look like that from the outside. Whether you are an actress, dentist, teacher, doctor or writer you have to live the rejections, and then simply have the constitution to move on".
You have to fight back and say to yourself 'I know I am good and I know it will happen and I now I am more than enough'.
The major stars and artistes and entrepreneurs who have walked before us have an absolute foundation stone of star quality which is the ability to bounce back from rejection.
It may take a thousand No's, but it only takes one Yes. Just treat each rejection as a step nearer to your goal.
Make sure you master rejection by taking it when it comes, keeping things in perspective and remembering tomorrow is another day. Anything is possible. Sure, acknowledge the rejection but don't go into the room of despair and linger there. No, just say O there is a learning curve here for me, how can I see it as a gift?
Let all rejection be a tool for growth and use it to move forward, rather than seeing it as a personal attack.
If Walt Disney, JK Rowling, Steve Jobs Beatles, Oprah and many more had shrunk back and stayed small because of all the rejections they had, we wouldn't have benefited from all the amazing talents they so graciously shared with the world.
Keep going and keep remembering to approve of yourself my friend and stop looking for outside approval.