Fear: How to get over yours

Fear is an inbuilt fight or flight mechanism in the human body - it keeps us safe. In our primaeval ancestor’s state, this was great, fear would enable us to run away from wild animals, navigate dangerous environments and stay alive. Thankfully, in the Western world today, we no longer need to worry about a wild animal killing us, but our fear mechanism is still switched on.

On the positive side, fear can make us feel safe, comfortable, and protected, which are our basic human needs. It can ensure that we are sensible, don’t take high risks and look after ourselves late at night.

On the negative side, fear can play havoc with our emotions. It can keep us stuck, bored, depressed, anxious, worried, overwhelmed, lonely, etc - the list of negative emotions stemming from fear goes on.

The brain’s response to fear is deep in our subconscious and most of us don’t even realise we have this as our underlying issue. For example, we use it as a fear of not going out otherwise people may say something about us, fear of not moving jobs as it might not be better, fear of public speaking, etc. These are all non-life threatening situations, but our brain is wired to respond as though we are under threat and tells our conscious to hold back, don’t do it, retreat.

If we do go ahead and do something, fear can show up as nervousness, worry or anxiety. All these emotions then start to make us stressed, and our flight or fight response kicks in, increasing our adrenaline and producing low levels of cortisol. Long over-exposure to cortisol is not good for our health - stressing out the immune system.

Fear can, for many people, become engrained in their way of life and we can even label ourselves by our fear. Are you always a worrier? Always someone who is stressed out. It can limit your career, your personal life and your overall happiness. If not addressed, your positive energy over time starts to wane and your well-being starts to become affected.

How can you get over the fear?

First of all, you need to address your limiting beliefs. The best way to do this is to ask yourself the question, 'What is the worse that could happen if I went ahead and did xyz?' Think about the worst-case scenario, then ask yourself the second question, 'And then what happens?' After imagining that scenario, again 'And then what?'

Let's put these questions into a scenario. Say for example you are worried about having to do a big presentation in front of a room of people. The worst that could happen is that you can't get all the information across as you were nervous, or people didn't think the presentation was interesting. And then what? You’ve done it, next time you’ll have more confidence and improve. Finally, what if you didn't do it? Your voice would not be heard, and you may not be seen in the company and get that promotion. Weigh up the options and you’ve got your answer, go do it!

Here are five ways to get over your fears:

1. Gain awareness of your fear

If you can become aware of the underlying factor of fear in your emotions then you can have a better understanding of it. What is triggering you? What are your limiting beliefs around this? This will put you in the control seat to then get rid of that fear and tackle it head-on with your conscious mind rather than it lurking around in your subconscious.

2. Get out of your comfort zone

Comfort keeps us safe, but safe can be boring, depressing, or lonely. Start with small tasks each day of doing something different, like ordering a different type of coffee or wearing a new colour. Then start to try bigger things- join a meet-up group to meet new friends, explore a new city or find a new hobby. By slowly getting out of your comfort zone and increasing the exposure to fear you can desensitise the overwhelm of fear in larger areas of your life.

3. Change your fear mindset

This is about rethinking what you think. You may have had the same beliefs for years that are no longer serving you, or behaviours that are negative that you keep doing through fear. Tackling these beliefs often takes a third party such as a life coach or support group to see things from a different perspective.

Often, our beliefs are deeply rooted and we need to peel away them, like an onion layer until we get to the root cause of the belief. The grip of fear can then be released. A professional trained in this field can give you the cognitive restructuring tools to get over the issue.

4. Relax the feeling of fear

This can be done through meditation and relaxation to get over your fear. Often something very simple such as deep breathing can help with fear, coming back to the body and out of the mind. When you are afraid you get stressed, so anything that will help calm you down and relax is required. It could be sniffing soothing lavender, doing some yoga or listening to a relaxing song. Knowing what works for you will help your mind relax and body.

5. Visualise success

Use the power of visualisation to imagine yourself successfully facing and conquering the task that you fear. Imagine, for example, successfully giving that presentation to a packed room and the audience giving you a round of applause and being truly engaged in the information that you are giving them. Visualising positive outcomes can help build confidence and reduce anxiety.

By understanding the adaptive nature of fear and its lingering effects, we can proactively work towards overcoming fear. Employing strategies such as awareness, getting out of our comfort zone, changing the mindset, relaxing as a self-help tool, and visualising success techniques can empower you to confront and conquer your fears, leading to personal growth, enhanced well-being, and feeling amazing.